Hello everyone, I wanted to join in the very interesting discussion about achieving goals.  My father always says that to him the journey to a goal is as important as the goal itself and to enjoy every step along the way.  My sister wishes she could agree with him.  She’s doing her degree at the moment and hating every minute of it but the goal is keeping her going! 
I think we are all very hard on ourselves these days and aspire to great things largely because of the media that we are bombarded with and have little control over and it’s easy to lose sight of what we really want rather than what we think we should want. 
Goals and dreams are great.  They keep us alive and give us something to aim for and look forward to.  Having smaller goals on the way to a bigger goal is good as you get to celebrate along the way which is good for wellbeing, self-esteem, enthusiasm and drive. I’m now a great believer in rewarding oneself along the way. 
If you start and try and don’t end up where you anticipated, you’ve tried and hopfeully enjoyed and learned along the way.  We alll grow from experience and knowledge.
It’s lovely to hear all of your experiences.  I look forward to us all continuing to grow.
Best wishes, Helen

Hello, Helen
You are just so wise and encouraging,  perhaps that’s a goal to aim for,  I think I’ll try   j x

Good morning Jean, thank you for that.  I don’t know about wise but from experience I have found that once I start something it’s not as bad as I’ve been expecting (if I’ve been expecting it to be bad that is!).  Sometimes it’s better actually but often it’s somewhere in between which isn’t bad is it?!  Does that happen to you?  Have a good day Jean.  Best wishes, Helen

Great big, innovative, world changing ideas… are plentiful.

People who take tiny little baby steps towards them, are rare.

You are so acing this life,
  The Universe

Mike dooleys take on it my tut I received today Xxx Chloe Xxx p.s how Spookie Xxx

Hello everyone Xx My little girl has been hating school and hates the awful anxiety that comes with learning. She has a problem starting her homework, when I eventually get her to do it at the last minute she is so happy, she wants to read all her books do all her homework. Its the getting going. I once went up this great big tower with a rope around my middle at show, the parachute regiment had rigged up this jump. I begged the soldier please push me he said I am not allowed to mam. I walked all the way down the steps and felt such a fool. I love the support of my friends on her the ones that give that push they belief in me they push me and i must admitt I need the encouragement. I need the pushes the praise the encentives. Thank you everybody for giving the incentives to have that leap off the tower. I push my daughter with praise with love and Appreciation, Jean and Hope taught me that and then went I lose my rag and realise I am not perfect, I realise I am not alone XXx and for that I love you all Xxx Chloe Xxx

Brencoot Xx I missed your post we are still burning that bonfire from November the 5th. We have bought a shed for the motorbike and the mountain bikes and we have been really busy. I walked the dog and his best friend 9month old beagle today. Oh it was heaven and the dogs made me laugh. Our lab loves the water and the beagle doesn’t so my dog was tormenting him, so funny to watch. Brencoot Xx I have this dream to one day be an extremely successful hypnotherapist xXXand makes lots of money so I can help my husband financially Xxx and not have that dependency I shall not feel I need to rely on the family business of the the family (inlaws) that have neglected to include me and I wont feel beholding and hurting. Xx I be in my independant bubble Xxx I need to give the goats water so i’ll be back later XxhugXx

Well. what can I say ? 
Do we all know what we should be doing?
Our goals must be different from each others so , who’s to say we are aiming for the right things.
Are we all trying for perfection - does anyone actually know a perfect human being ?
It’s so confusing , if we were all to be perfect - who has set the standard ?

Jean Xxx Your so true Perfect doesn’t exist Xx As I am getting older I watch myself and my friends and believe now happiness is the ultimate goal ‘The man who can sing when he hasn’t got a thing is the king of the whole wide world (Elvis)Xx I went to a funeral Friday oh I cried I hadn’t worked with the deceased Jerry since 1984. I had heard of his death and being friends with his grand daughter and daughter in law I had a deep feeling I should go so I went. Jerry had never taken a days leave he worked in the local hospital pharmacy and he was kindest most dedicated man I have ever worked with. He once had to be escorted off the hospital grounds by the principal pharmacist and told to go home. Only 2 !!!!!! people not including me were at his funeral from his place of work which he had worked since he was 14 years old. My husband said yes they loved him in life perhaps he was too old and others had gone to heaven before him. I had asked the 2 dispensing technicians where is everybody and they said what a poor show. I don’t think jerry put his happiness before his job, yet we’ll never know it was a beautiful funeral. Although he saw little of his wife he cherished her and made her feel special so that she loved him so much she was happy for him to go to work and neglect her all those years ????? because he always put others first before himself and she understood him. I don’t know what to think really. I was expecting the church to be bursting at the seams. There was a beautiful poem read out at his tribute and I shall type it out later it is very long Xxx I love you Jean and I love you Brencoot, Hope Helen and Will because you like Jerry put your needs aside and you give others your love your kindness and most of all your time. People like you are a success now the ultimate kind of success the success of now the present moment success always looking on the bright side of life, Having a good laugh with friends family and getting out there and doing it Xx HUGXx the love and passion of the life I have now and you are filling it with love and laughter and sharing that gift with me and others Xx you certainly have helped me and for that I cherish you all dearly XxChloe

Hello Chloe, how are you? What have you been up to recently?

Isn’t it a pain in the ****, how money seems to affect us all. We all strive to be free of the pressure and chains it seems to put on us, but we just can’t seem to free ourselves from it. I was speaking to a friend of mine about it the other day and he says he is convinced that he’ll work hard to save money, and when he gets older and finally gets more financially comfortable and is getting ready to have a nice comfortable retirement, that he’ll end up in the doctors and they’ll tell him that he’s got some kind of terminal disease, and he said he’ll stand up and shout “That’s just bl**dy typical!!!!”. We all have our own reasons for wanting more money, but I just hate how a man-made thing really is the root of so much stress, pain, evil etc.

I really hope your dreams of being a really successful hynotherapist will come true though, I’m sure it will!

Brencoot Xx Thank you Xx actually I need to thank you in more ways than one just reading about your day and your attitudes to life have changed mine, they haven’t happened over night yet you have had an influence over me thank you Xx I have been OUT smelling the flowers cycling swimming walking the dog and I feel great. I have been smelling the flowers and all those nice chemicals in my brain have changed my perception I am becoming more logical about things like you and seeing things in their true perpective not judging not being needy just living. Your strong self disciplined nuturing life has sent a message to me and I THANK YOU Xx I laughed at the story about your friend, my father won some money once when I was a kid I can’t remember the exact amount now and then the following day the dog broke its leg and the bill came to virtually the same amount it reminded me of your friend. Was it you who said that the japanese live a life free of finance, self suffient simple life or was it a new zealander who told me. I recall somebody said that they lived a life were there was no need for money and people helped eachother with their particular skill or trade. I wonder what the tibetans do ? Yes it is very sad that I have a need for money when I know if only I changed my attitude to life I would not need money. Love and kindness count for more I know that now and I have grown to respect people who live withing their means even if they don’t wear the latest designer clothes, some of the nicest people don’t necessarily come wrapped in the best parcels Xx Mind you when I was younger some of the most gorgeous looking guys were actually nicer and weren’t so mean so its not a rule of thumb and I have the most beautiful stunning blonde friends who are the kindest women I know and whom I love very much Xx Chloe

How are you doing? I’ll let you into a little secret, I don’t always live my life in the same way I advse other people! I guess it really is true that it’s hard to follow your own advice. I stick fairly close to it though wherever I can.

I don’t think it was me who said that about Japanese people, in fact I’m pretty sure it wasn’t cos I wouldn’t really agree with that statement. It’s funny that people seem to have that opinion though, cos I heard somebody else say that recently. Mayumi (wife) and I didn’t say anything, but neither of us agreed with it. I think it’s porbably fair to say that they borrow less money than us and certainly don’t use credit cards much (mostly cash), but that’s cos they all got burnt after the 70s and 80s boom time, and they have learnt their lesson from that (not all of them of course), which we don’t seem to have. However, they certainly love all their brands, fashion and the latest things though. When I first moved to Japan, I got half the household stuff I had in my first flat (stereo, sofa, table etc) off the street, where it had been put for rubbish collection, cos Japanese often throw stuff out well before it’s ready to be thrown out. I couldn’t believe my luck, but then realised that was the norm. I sometimes wonder whether the desire for the latest/best stuff is one of the reasons they are so good at creating new electronic/techie things. Ah, I suppose it’s also true to say that they don’t often take big mortgages either cos the majority of people (certainly young people) rent. A house isn’t an investment there cos up until recent times, they rebuild their houses every 25 years or so, so if you buy a house, unless it’s brand new, it’s like buying something 2nd hand. They don’t really use brick you see, mainly cos of all the earthquakes they have out there. Brick just crumbles. I also heard they rebuild houses cos it helps keep money moving around in the economy.

Yep, love and kindness are far more important than money, but it seems gossip magazines sell more if they are constantly harping on about celebs and all their money etc rather than about kindness.

Anything been happening in your life recently?

Brencoot Xx that was the most interesting interesting thing I have read in ages Thank you Xxwow I never knew that is an amazing culture. I seem to be going through some sort of change realisation wake up call stuff bit strange yet hey its all positive. I am reaching 45 and going through some sort of mid life crisis, I went through one when I was 35 and went to university and then a completely different life lay ahead of me, I am going through that again now and the positive attitudes of the people on here have been facilitating the positive change in me like a catalyst. I would say I was depressed when I came on here and now feel much better its all a bit odd yet I see myself getting better a great improvement in all things positive Xxx Thank you Xxx The shed has been put up for my husbands motorbike yet the garage conversion is put on hold for the moment until the builder is ready, its all very exciting and me I am still heading for fame and fortune Xx Harry the horse the golden labrador puppy is gorgeous I love him and he is so good. Mind you he does love water and nearly joined me in the bath last night. Sometimes I do believe my husband is jealous of the dog tee heee because the dog gets more attention than him. He is not that sort of man only kidding yet he does say how is golden boy ? Thank you Brencoot your posts mean alot to me Xx Chloe

How are you Chloe?

Yeah, I think we all go through a mid-life crisis, or 10, at some point. Think I’m going through one too, along with half the people I know, so you aren’t alone! I think it’s when life isn’t quite turning out as you’d expected/hoped, so I think to say mid-life probably isn’t accurate, cos I think they can happen anytime. I think that’s why there’s the stereotype that men buy a Porsche in their mid-life crisis, cos they are trying to fill the gap in their life that hasn’t quite been filled, probably cos they haven’t become rich and famous international playboy, or something, as they’d hoped.

Funny you mentioned about your husband being jealous of the dog (I know you were joking) cos whenever there are dogs around, I don’t get any attention from my wife. In fact, when there are dogs around, absolutely nothing else matters. We could be in the most amazingly beautiful place in the world, and if my wife saw a dog, nothing else would matter. Actually, for my wife, a place probably can’t be amazing unless there’s a dog there. Maybe you are the same.

Do you have anything planned for the weekend?

Hello Brencoot Xx I am well and today us mothers are making easter cakes for the egg extravaganza. I have been starting to look at my life in a different way it feels what people would label as a mid life crisis yet it is more like a manna. I feel quite changed and refreshed and beginning to accept and love what I have now it is as if I have found an inner peace which has enabled me to start enjoying the now and I have stopped wanting to fill the gap yet I still would like to be a successful hypnotherapist and drive a fast sexy car ha ha. The exercise works and my brain chemistry is feeling great thanks for that.
Your wife has an sound of beauty and kindness about her, I can see her beauty shine through the post when you talk about her it is very beautiful to read and endearing I love what you say about her. I laugh for the right reasons and it makes me smile Xx Thank you Xx This weekend we plan to repair the chicken house the goats got in on the top floor and it came crashing down. It was really funny seeing a goats head come out of the nest box. The goats are really really naughty. The puupy is outside at the moment playing with them its amazing to watch Xx Hope you have a wonderful weekend my friend XxChloe

Hello Chloe. How are you doing today? Inner peace/happiness with yourself, if the most important thing you can find, cos it is impossible to please everybody else, so it’s important to at least be happy/pleased with yourself. Everybody cares so much about what other people think of them, it makes it almost impossible to be truly happy.

I don’t have anything exciting planned for the weekend, but might try to paint one of our rooms, cos I’ve been thinking about it for a while now.

Well, have a nice weekend!