My name is Kelly and I have a 8mth old daughter who is a little bundle of happy. I on the other hand an a great big heap of unhappy as i have PND and I cannot cope with with anything at all and have been like this for 5mths.
I dont want to be like this i feel totally alienated from my child who I cannot bond with and find it very hard to show any love and affection to,i just feel she would be better off if i left and would be bought up by her father.
All I ever wanted was to be a mum and now I cant understand WHY I cant DO IT.
Can anyone help me please.
Does anyone else have the same feelings

Hello Kelly Xx I never got the baby blues yet I got overwhelmed with feelings of being tired and stressed and not having enough to eat and practically no sleep. I looked at my book the depressed mother and found it was a form of torture having sleep deprevation and the Japanese did this to their prisonners of war. YIKES Xxx Please realise your feelings are not your fault and its due to the birth of your child. My mother told me about the baby blues and how dreadful they are, I never realised this could happened to a woman. I found in my life I could never force feelings for children yet they do come when I have time to observe. My little one caused havoc in my family with her arrival all the usual life went out the door. I hope you are getting lots of support and somebody is there with baby while you can observe your beatiful little girls tiny little fingers her tiny little finger nails and toes. I used to love watching my daughter while she was sleeping while she was calm and not being needy I found my bond grow and when she cried and was awoke I could not cope. I did cope to this day I am amazed I coped because my daughter was a no sleeping colicie baby who hated being put down. I found watching nice movies and looking after me helped. I told the doctor I must look after the host so the parasites survive refering to my husband and daughter and they laughed. Because its true I was the captain of the ship and without me all hands go down. That job holds alot of responsibility and there are manuals and training on running a ship yet there isn’t one on being a mother. Your a beautiful wonderful courageous woman and your baby and youtr partner are lucky because you are asking for help and that is a great thing to do. When I was depressed I wouldn’t ask for help and when I did things improved Xxx hug hug hug hug hug Xxx life is about to get lovelier it does and babies change and it does get easier and they are a joy and I just hope your getting lots of help and cuddles so you can give them out in return Xxx love hug Xx Chloe

Thankyou chloe your the 1st person to answer me on all the forums ive posted on and believe me ive done a few.
Life for me at the moment is crap but, i live in hope of it getting better that is all that is keeing me going really that and kind words like you have just sent me.
How are you and do you have any tips on how to help?
Thankyou again.
Kellyxxxx

Hormones they give us girls
hell they make us happy and very sad as well
They can bring me up pull me down
and when I am down no fun to be around

The pain of birth us girls we endure
exhausted and shocked
given a baby to rock
The poor little baby really needs its mum
but poor old mums too exhausted to join in the fun
The rellys take photos god I look a mess
I wish you’d just go home let me get my rest

They all disappear and leave you with who ?
That little thing making a racket in the bed next to you
In rushes the midwife not with much charm
get on and feed your baby your doing it harm
I wish I knew how 2 big melons for chests
I wish I knew how to feed her give me some rest

How do I do it I asked the midwife
don’t you know anything shes not very polite
Feeling so desparate I feel so weak
having no energy through lack of sleep
Please come and help me I pray to the Lord
give me some relief
I can’t cope with motherhood
I’m desparate beyond belief

Eventually
They stuck me in a little home and taught me to feed
The nurses so beautiful brought me a cup of tea
When asked what they called they said the NCT
I was blessed with those woman and
I’ll never know if it was for them my post natal depression just
might have grown and I might go mental again
You can’t blame yourself
for can’t you just see its the nasty old hormones
no social support no sleep

I know you’ll get better honest I do
Because your a beautiful mum and
your daughter deserves you XXXXXX

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Kelly XX I was worried I might not know what to say so I am so glad you liked my response Xx I wrote you one of my mad non rhymning poems to make you laugh Xxx Today I am busy cleaning and helping my husband move out he has a very lovely girlfriend she is gorgeous so I booted him out and said get on with it. I have had a boyfriend ...sadly it did not work out. My husband and I have been separating for the past 5 years and worried about upsetting our daughter we stuck together Xx hope my news isn’t too gloomy because I am well and happy and the girlfriends in Tesco said your very matter of fact are you ok ...I thought yeah its that or be full of fear dread and worry Xx to tell you the truth I am terrified Xx Hows your day? Xxx door bell speak soon Xx Chloe

Hello Kelly, how are you feeling? I’m not a woman, so it’s hard for me to completely understand what you are going through, but I know that a lot of women go through a very tough time after having a baby. There are lots of that go on in a woman’s body during pregnancy and these take time to sort out even after child birth. Some women take longer than others and some woman are affected more than others. The physical changes alone generally take up to 6 months, but the more hormonal/emotional changes can take a lot longer (your body as just gone through a massive ordeal). On top of these, your life gets turned upside down when you have a baby, your sleeping patterns and routine in general are blown to pieces, so even without the changes that have gone off, it would be hard to deal with. Try not to be too hard on yourself, just take time to adjust to things.

If it makes you feel any better in terms of bonding with your daughter, I’ve heard that for at least the first 6 months, babies can barely tell the difference between people (they don’t seem to even be able to tell the difference between men and women), so it would therefore suggest that most of the bonding goes on much later than this, maybe even after children can walk and talk. I think it’s only us adults who think that we bond with babies at a very young age. I think at a very young age, as long as they get their food, they don’t really care. So, in response to your thought that’d she be better off just being left with her dad, I don’t think you could be more wrong, cos I think there are many years to come where she is going to bond with you, and going to need you, perhaps even more so than her dad, cos let’s face it, men just can’t deal with daughters as well as mums can.

I really hope you are feeling OK Kelly. Take it easy and just take things slowly and gradually work on doing the simple enjoyable things like going out for walks with your daughter etc and I’m sure you’ll start to feel better.

it was nobody at the door Xx ha ha just my daughter playing games Xx what have you been doing today Kelly I hope its something nice that makes you happy XX hug Xx Chloe

Oh wow Brencoot Xx your reply is sooooooooooo gorgeous Xx you are lovely Xx

Dear Kelly, so sorry to hear you are feeling so low. More people than we probably know suffer from post natal depression as they suffer in silence which is such a shame. Have you read the article on the home page about pnd by a pnd expert and professional. Her name and telephone number and email are at the end and she will always speak to people. I am so pleased you’ve come to the site. Please get the most out of it and contact Liz if you want to. You deserve to enjoy your baby and can do. There is nobody better than you to look after your baby Kelly. You are an amazing woman. You’ve taken the first step. Things will get better. There are amazing people who can help you. We are always here. Helen
From Helen