I’m a 37 yr old who once had a happy life before. My husband divorced me 2 months ago and yes, its not a happy ending. I know I’m still young to enjoy my life but I really can’t accept the fact that he’s not into me anymore. I am so in love with him. I don’t know how can i handle myself now.

Sandra, it’s still very early days in your grief process, you have experienced such loss, not just practical loss, but loss of staus and a total change of lifestyle but most of all you have lost the dreams and thoughts and knowledge of the future you once thought you’d have. It’s ok to grieve for that and necessary and right now you are in the middle of that and that’s ok, you need to grieve. I don’t know anyone who has separated or divorced who has not experienced depression afterwards, though some recover sooner than others. But you WILL recover from this and the grief WILL fade, and you WILL have a new bright future and you WILL enjoy life again. Hang in there.

My advice would be to take opportunities to go out and socialise, coffee with friends, cinema, comedy clubs, dancing, whatever takes your fancy. Or take up a new hobby or take an evening class. Meanwhile big hugs from someone who knows how that loss hurts (((Sandra)))

Dear Sandra, it is totally understandable how you are feeling at the moment.  In fact ‘the experts’ say that it’s necessary.  A psychologist friend of mine says that she is often asked to take away the pain of grieving and says that she would not be helping the person in the long run as quelled emotions come back to haunt us later on when we least expect it if we don’t deal with them at the time.  As hard as it is, it seems to be a healing process.  Time is a great healer.  It sucks doesn’t it but it’s true.  So give it time.  They do say that if you still grieving after 6 weeks you should consider going to see your doctor.  Do go to your doctor before that Sandra if you feel you want to.  Do not be afraid to ask for help. You don’t have to do this on your own.
You’ve lived in a happy state once so you are capable of doing so and you will again.  It might seem a long way away at the moment but it is probably closer than you think.  My father always says that the only things we are guaranteed in life are death and change.  Whilst I’m not on keen to dwell on the first, change is often for the better. 
We aren’t shown how to grieve in our society are we?  I saw a card yesterday saying ‘Congratulations on your divorce’.  I don’t know many people who celebrate it.  It’s probably just another way for card shops to make money but it did make me wonder how different we would feel if we, not so much celebrated the event but, celebrated what we have experienced and looked forward to what the future had in store rather than dreading it.  It’s going to happen anyway.  It’s how we react to it that determines the quality of our life.  We all deserve a good one.  Please allow yourself to feel sad when you are sad and acknowledge it as OK and when you have had enough of feeling sad, maybe try some of the wonderful suggestions Maysie made.  I do those too - not all at once - but all of them work for me.  Thinking of you Sandra.  Best wishes, Helen

Oh Gosh Sandra XX I had a broken heart recently the pain was horrendous…it’s horrid. I have began to turn a corner and I am beginning to feel allot better now. Gosh to me A broken heart is a dreadful pain…all the thoughts ..thinking about the person I wanted to be with and wanting them to want me and sadly they don’t. I thought about it for a while and began to recall in my youth the same thing happening and now I don’t think of the lad twice..I moved on..I think of all the times I have been able to move on and each and every time I have been happier and found somebody who really loved me and its so wonderful to have somebody love me..the person who left me behind has done me a favour. My ex husbands friend said there are so many guys out there that need women and sadly women don’t want to go out with them because us girls look after ourselves and actually prefer to be single…thats the male perspective from men that can’t find ladies !!! whatever is around the corner I know is going to be lovelier ..wonderful ..I just know ..wink ..XXX hey believe with me XX hug X Chloe

I been reading a book Facing Uncertainty Susan Jeffers ..oh its been helping me XX hug XX I was reading Paul Mac kenna how to mend a broken heart and it was making my pain worse !!!  Xx each to their own Xx   When I am reading something that gives me energy and hope I find if its making me feel better ....its doing the job ..yet if I start to read a book that makes me cringe..its time to put it down Xx hug Xx Happy times are on the way…trust me I am a witch Xx tee heee you’ll look back and realise one day not now perhaps… yet life is about to get lovelier it just takes it time X hug

Chole x x x

How are you my friend? Just listening to fields of gold. Not having a very good time of things, personally so bored with my life.

I am not sure how its going to get better. No one loves me because of my passed and lets face it 3 boys to 3 dofferent mums.

Take lots of care my very best friend hugs Paul x

Paul

Are you certain no one loves you because of your past ?  It seems to me you have a past of making love…so I am sure the future holds the same in store. Why are you bored with your life my friend ...I am off out to a fancy dress party teee heee. My wig looks excellent ...we are all going as the scooby doo characters. I had a choice to stay in or go out ...I decided to go out and partttttttyyyyyy ...today I party !!! keep smiling and be proud of your past wow 3 gorgeous kids you lucky man tell my friends who can’t conceive your not happy they would shoot you !!! 3 gorgeous boys you are soooooooooo lucky. How can a parent be bored my little one runs me off my feet teeee heee ...    Paul you are soooooo lucky . Speak soon X Chloe

Helen x

How are you today? I walked out of support group on friday because I was called names. At least today went to see ducks with my little one.

what you been getting up so far this weekend?  I am just looking into EPA believe it costs money which I find it hard on my hardship money.

Take care Hugs Paul x

Chole x

I bet you look mega girl in your wigs lol what enjoyment pure enjoyment. In ways I have three boys, which I dont see two of them.

scooby doo what a classic lol brill

Have fun thinking of you Paul x

Hey ..little people are the greatest gifts in the whole wide world X

Our Children Chole mean so much to us. How is your daughter?

x