I have had pretty severe bipolar depression since I was 11. It ruined most of my formative years and left me prone to suicidal thoughts.

This past few months, however, I have noticed a complete change in my thinking. Where I used to fly into a rage at the slightest provocation I am now a much calmer person. I do still get irritated by certain things but now I let the mood pass quickly and not develop into a depressive attitude.

Things started to improve when I bought a book called “Feeling Good” by David D Burns. It lists numerous strategies related to cognitive behavioural therapy and outlines why depression is caused by distorted thinking. Possibly it is a coincidence but since I read the book and did the exercises I have felt much better. I will not claim to be 100% cured or have the answers to life but for the first time I feel optimistic about the future. The book is available for less than £5 on amazon.co.uk for anyone interested.

The main reason for this post is to ask others if Depressed people, like alcoholics, have to be continually on their guard against a relapse? Just when I think I am fine will I be plunged back into despair. Has anyone any experience of this?

Thanks for reading this and I wish you all well

Dear Athelstan, to answer your question about being on one’s guard for a relapse of depression, I am always fearful of it coming back to the extent that I suffered when I had my breakdown in 2000 so I guess that means that I am always on my guard.  Whilst I do get bouts of depression they have not been anything like my original depression.  I had clinical depression for 3 years and was then diagnosed with bipolar depression that the doctors said was medication induced.
I do have my own action care plan which is sounds like you have and have read lots of books.
I have read Feeling Good.  In fact it’s on the Recommended Reading list on the website.  Books that I have read and found useful or others have read and recommended either on the site or personally I add to the book list.
/index.php/depressed/category/further_reading/
It sounds like you’ve done an amazing job of learning about your depression.  Do you mind me asking if you’ve ever had any therapy or taken medication?
Keep well Athelstan.  Best wishes, Helen

Hi Helen,

How are you my friend?  It’s not been a good time really for me. Support is closing down, courses all gone.

Deeply upset because no one wants me, I think at 38 I am going through a hard time in my life.
Clothes are falling apart and shoes falling apart. No dental treatment because I am not getting job seekers.

Helen thinking of you my friend

Paul

Hi Helen,
        Thanks for your reply. To answer your question I have been on medication for around 20 years. It is only Chlorpromazine, Citalopram and Nadolol so nothing major. I would like to get off the stuff but I am frightened of my depression returning if I do.

Sometimes I go a day or to without taking my medication and I do get some side effects. I know I should go to my doctor but I am still unsure as to whether this relief from depression is temporary. Thanks for understanding and take care

Oh Paul, what a flippin nightmare re all the courses and support groups and singing groups closing down.  When I was living in Hampshire, I got so frustrated with there being no groups that I started my own.  I put an add in the paper with my telephone number.  We used to meet at my house but then took it in turns to meet at different houses.  It started with 5 members and is still going nearly 10 years later with many more members.
You may not feel up to doing that but maybe someone in your area has already done so.  Try looking in your local paper or in the post office or local shop.
We’re always here Paul.  I know you can’t meet us face to face (which is not always a bad thing!) but we are always here to listen and chat and support if we can.
I really feel for you and your situation Paul.  Have you tried shopping for items you really need in Primark or Matalan or good charity shops?  I have friends who shop there and look great.  I get some great bargains in charity shops.  I bought a lovely warm coat there recently.
As for meeting someone, I bet it will happen when you LEAST expect it!
Hang on in there Paul.  It is going to get better soon.  By the law of averages it has to.  Be sure you’re ready to enjoy it when it does.  I am thinking of you as always Paul.  Best wishes, Helen

Hi Athelstan, it sounds like you feel the antidepressants have worked for you, is that right?  Have you considered herbal remedies if you want to come off your antidepressants?  An excellent one that you can take alongside your antidepressants that people have recommended on this site (someone even said that it stopped them from wanting to kill themselves- see the positive suggestions on the Interact page) is Filisa.

I called the company after reading about it on the site and found out that a therapist friend of mine had been recommending it to her clients for depression and anxiety for years.  I now take it when I am very stressed or down.

What people normally do is take it alongside their antidepressants and when they start to feel better they know that it’s the Filisa that is making them feel better and feel more comfortable going to their doctor and asking them to wean them off their medication.  If you already feel the benefits of the antidepressants you may feel better still with Filisa or another herbal remedy and feel comfortable going back to your doctor.  Be careful with St John’s Wort though as you cannot take that alongside other medication.

Do you also take a good quality omega?  When I begged my psychiatrist to come off my antidepressants after nearly 10 years on antidepressant medication, he made me promise to take a good quality omega every day which I still do!
 
Whatever you do Athelstan, take care and may you stay well.  Best wishes, Helen

Paul mate, I haven’t been on here for ages but read your posts and wanted to tell you to hang on in there.  It can only and will get better.  When I feel that I’m at rock bottom and can’t take any more is when things usually start to pick up. It feels as if it’s some sick joke but hang on in there mate.  I feel for you and am wishing that it all gets better very soon.  Will

Hi Athelstan, my name’s Will.  I haven’t been on here for ages.  I just wanted to say that when I’m really down (which i feel I am too often) I drink far too much which is a double whammy as I still feel bad when the drink wears off and I feel physically terrible and feel like I need another drink!  It’s just a viscious circle.  I know this but when I’m really down I still do it anyway.  I watch for both coming back.  It’s like the chicken and egg situation. If I start noticing I’m drinking to much I ask myself why and it’s usually because I’m not feeling good.  I also watch for feeling down as I know that can lead to me picking up my first drink.  Aren’t we complicated beings?  It’s hard enough getting through the day/week/year without constantly analysing yourself.  Sometimes it all feels futile but other times it’s ok.  I hope you’re ok.  Will

depression is not a addiction!
whereas alcoholism is an addiction.. and addiction leads to depression.

Good point.  Thank you for that perspective Meganjo.  Helen