Hello Everyone

I feel crap today. The weird thing is though that at the same time as feeling crap I also feel very agitated. I have that urge to run away and leave everything behind, even though the rational bit of me knows that can’t happen. I think that’s what is causing the agitation - the fight going on between these bits of me. Maybe not. Who knows. I just know I feel crap :(

G

Glynis

My friend hang in there. I have felt in bits all week, I am not sure why.  It’s hard when people live on there own, have only the walls to stare at.  I have no tv because I cant afford a roof arial.

My head has been really heavy and I have felt tired. Aqua is brilliant, it took me ages to build up the courage to go. I knew in my heart I had to go alone because I have no friend intrested in this.  At one point I had no friends last year. Who know were it will end.  I know one thing thank you to helen for been a massive support to me and esp chole.

Small outside the comfort zone are a brave thing to do esp been own a persons own. Pls try my friend

Paul

Hello Paul

Thank you for your supportive reply. I am fortunate not to live alone now, but I have done in the past. You are so right, it is very difficult sometimes when you are living on your own. It must be even harder with no TV for company. Do you have a radio? I think you are great for going to Aqua. I always seem to bottle out of going places, even when they are things I really want to do. Well done you for overcoming the fear!

Take care
Glynis

Hi Glynis,

I had quite a bad morning, this is very frustrating (and a little scary) especially after three days in a row of not feeling too bad.

Regarding your agitated feeling. Have you changed your medication or the dosage in the last couple of weeks? I was told to expect this when I started taking mine two weeks ago on Tuesday and goodness me they were’nt joking. I went for a “brisk” walk which seemed to help slightly with the agitation - only I made sure I was walking where I wouldn’t bump into anyone that knows me so I wouldn’t have to stop for a chat. Do you think a walk might be work a try for you?

I’m hoping that my tablets will start working properly soon and the side effects will ease off.

Please take care and let us know how your getting on.

Hello Karma

I am sorry you have been having a bad morning. Do you have any idea why, or is it just one of those days that hit you from nowhere? I know what you mean about feeling frutrated and scared by it, just as you think you might have turned a corner along comes the bad feelings to remind you that you are still struggling!

I haven’t changed my meds or anything for nearly a year. To be honest, I thihkn it is the energy of fighting against that urge to run away and disappear. I seem to get that a lot these days, even though I also know it won’t solve the problem!

Take care Karma
Glynis

Hi Glynis

I am streaming k love from the states. I don’t have a radio I have the net, which is not perfect. I have books to read.

I hope my future improves and I wish all my friends on this site gets better aswell.

Please take care Paul

Hi Glynis,

I have no idea where these bad feelings come from, nothing significant has happend. I just woke up this morning feeling very down. Since the horrific, totally unexpected, verbal attack by what I thought was one of my oldest and closest friends four weeks ago, I’ve woken-up every single morning thinking about it. Over the last few days the bad feeling has worn off after about an hour. However, today it lasted all morning. I felt a bit better erlier but now I’m feeling down again.

I know the accusations that my friend made were about events that happend many years ago, and were completely blown out of all proportion. I now know in retrospect that I have upset people, but I certainly didn’t mean to. The way he has interpreted my actions is very wrong, but since his outburst I can’t shake off these crippling feelings of guilt and shame.