Good Morning Every body,

I’ve just been reading a couple of books that have been recommended to me. One of them is called “Depressive Illness - The curse of the strong” by Dr. Tim Cantopher

In it Dr. Cantopher says:

“... depressive illness ... nearly always happens to one type of person. So much so, in fact, that it allows me my little party piece in interviews with patients, which is to tell them about their personality before they tell me .... He or she will have the following personality characteristics:

- (moral) strength
- reliability
- diligence
- strong conscience
- strong sense of responsibility
- a tendancy to focus on the needs of others before one’s own
- sensitivity
- vulnerable to criticism
- self-esteem dependent on the evaluation of others

... give a set of stresses to someone who is weak, cynical or lazy and s/he will quickly give up, so s/he will never get stressed enough to become ill. A strong person, on the other hand, will react to these pressures by trying to overcome them ... So s/he keeps going, on and on, until suddenly: BANG! The fuse blows.”

Dr. Cantopher goes on to list a handful of people who have suffered:

- Oliver Cromwell
- Abraham Lincoln
- Isaac Newton
- Edgar Allen Poe
- Ludwig van Beethoven
- Vincent Van Gogh
- Winston Churchill
- Evelyn Waugh
- Ernest Hemingway
- Tony Hancock

I found this made me feel a little better about myself because its so true. If Dr. Cantopher is correct in his assertion that depressive illness nearly always affects one type of person, I thought I share it with you all in case it made you feel a little better too.

Hello Karma

Yes, this makes me feel a bit better too!

How are you today?

Glynis

Good Morning Glynis,

I’m so pleased that you found this helpful.

I’ve also just started reading “Feeling good - the new mood therapy” by David D. Burns, M.D. So far I’ve only got upto chapter 3, but in this chapter he talks about “Cognitive Distortions”, which are the negative ways we think about about things. Its so close to the way I’ve been thinking recently, that it was verging on being embarassing

If you haven’t read it already, may I recommend that you do so? Although I haven’t got to the bit on how to change these thoughts, the fact they’ve been identified so clearly fills with me hope for the rest of the book.

I started off this morning like most other mornings - feeling quite down, but knowing I’ve been able to help you to feel a little better has given me a bit of a lift. 

Thank you so much.

Karma

Its good to hear about other books to help.  I have to choose my books carful because of my money situition.

It really gets you in the morning. I feel worse later on knowing I have no tv no one to talk to face to face.  I am glad your book is helping you.

Often wonder to myself you are showing signs of someone I once knew on this forum. Someone very caring and supportive.

I did horsey horey with my little one on my back this morning. Brill great to see him always

Take care

Paul

Hi Karma

Thanks for making me feel brighter!  On a damp day, with an aching head and feeling a bit pants (well a lot) you have made me smile and stand straight and pull my shoulders back.

Stephie x

Hi Stephie,

I hope you feel a little bit better soon. I see like a soldier lol

take care Paul

Glynis, Paul and Stephie,

Thank you so much for your very kind words of encouragement.

It does feel better knowing I’ve been able to help in some way. Its such a relife thinking that I may not always be quite as nasty as I was told I am.

Paul, have you got a library close to you? If you have and are a member, you might be able to order books from them - I haven’t ordered a book for a while but If I remember correctly, it costs about 30p and the cost of a stamp if you want to be notified when the book comes in.

This way you can read the books first and only buy the ones you think are going to most helpful in the long run. A quick look on Amazon at the customer’s reviews along with the list of recommended books on this site should help you choose which ones you would like to order from your library.

Karma

I don’t think for one moment that you are a nasty person.

I will look into the library for books. Thank you for all your advise.  I think it has helped me so much.  I have a library in town, it’s not to far.

Dear Karma,  I heard the author being on a radio interview and wanted to read the book on the back of that which is why I’ve added it to our reading list.  I’ll definitely be reading it given your snippet.  Thank you so much.  I went to see Ruby Wax yesterday in her show about her breakdown and mental illness.  It is excellent.  I’m going to meet her today and going along to one of her weekly depression forums.  Things are happening and it’s wonderful to know that there are people who are in the spotlight who are willing to help get things happening isn’t it.  Take care Karma.  Off to see Ruby!  Helen

Hi Helen my dear friend,

I caught the end of Ruby Wax talking about her show on BBC Breakfast a couple of days ago. Unfortunately I didn’t see the whole piece so I didn’t get the full gist of what she was talking about.

I’m so glad you enjoyed the show. I’m afraid I don’t know too much about it. Is a comedy routine or a lecture?

Do you know how long it is running for and how much tickets are?

Also, you mentioned your going along to one Ruby’s depression forums. Please could you tell me a bit more about them?

Hi karma. How has you day been. I have started looking at the pro and con of moving. I will not rush into this. The balance is going towards derby or notts. You helen loulou gemma glynis are more of a support. I will remain you friends forever. Take care paul

Hi Paul,

I’m so pleased your considering things carefully and not rushing into things. I’m absolutely sure you’ll make the right descision about whether or not to move.

Just think, if you do decide to move to Nottingham you could end up being one of the “Merry Men” - Sorry I couldn’t resist

Seriously - it takes a lot of courage to make a decision of this size, I’m not sure I could at the moment -  You should be very proud of yourself!

Hi karma,

I have to look into things so careful. I have to say this I hear more from my friends on this forum, than my 2 friends in this town.

Aww bless you my friend, One of Robins Men.  When you are faced with the decision of no chance of employment in this town. It’s not just about money, I need to make new friends.

I am looking at jobs , housing, costs , travel links, East Midlands has good roads.  I just feel really sad in my life.

take care thank you for the brilliant support

Paul,

I think its Great that you are considering all the important details.

You may have already tried this, but in case you haven’t ...  If you go on to google maps and click on the “Get Directions” link, you should be able to get a rough idea of how far it is, and how long it will take you to drive from Nottingham or Derby to see your little one (remember it will probably take longer in the rush hour).

With regards to the job situation - It might also be useful to visit the job centre and ask them if they have any information on the relative job prospects for the type of work your considering in Nottingham and Derby compared to where you are now. A quick look at the job related internet sites might also give you a clue.

I hope this is helpful.

Hi Karma,

I have been looking at distance it’s 100 miles from this area to see my little.  I will look at other areas as well.

I really don’t want to live in hardship any longer.  I know there is other areas to look at as well.

I thank you will all my heart of your support.  How have you been feeling today?

Paul

Paul - Have you been on Freecycle.org? People are always offering things they don’t need anymore and you can usually get things like tv’s and cd’s for free. There should be a group for your local area.

Helen - Hope Ruby was good, I’m sure she was. Wish I could go see the show, let us know if she’s doing anything up north in the future. She’s a real inspiration; I have been too scared to tell people about my depression, and being like her and shouting about it seems a million miles away and so difficult. It’s something I should get the guts to do though - I worry that by keeping quiet I’m actually perpetuating the stigma…?

Gemma