Maybe its all too much ...maybe trying to survive in this world is too much of a fight ..i know i cant give in cause of my brothers ..im alawys in pain both mentaly and physically ,,right now at this moment im crying so bad everything hurts so much the past year and half like a living nightmare yet still my brother comes first ..there are things they can never know things that have happened that no one can ever know about and tonight im literally falling to bits :(

Dear Rainbow, it is good that your brother is important to you as indeed are all your brothers and if it’s the only thing keeping you going right now then I’m glad for that but the desperation that it is causing you is not a good reason to keep you hanging on. 
What about you?  You’re the one giving and if you don’t nurture yourself then you can’t give.  If you have to see it as not giving up for your brother then could you look at it that if you give more to yourself and allow yourself some time and pleasure/leisure you would feel happier and that would be obvious in your caring role and relationship with your brother.  Your brother probably sees your stress and is probably feeling guilty.  He won’t want you to be unhappy.
What are or what were your hobbies Rainbow?  What do you or did you like doing?  Could you do some of them now and maybe consider taking your brother along or doing them with him sometimes?  Do you like going to the park, football matches, watching films, comedians, reading?  Many men I know love ‘Viz’ magazine. It does look very funny.  I bought it for my brother-in-law recently and put it in a bag with some things for my 7 year old nephew.  He didn’t know that is was an adult comic and thought I’d bought it for my nephew and gave it to him, thank goodness only briefly!
If you’re happier, I’m sure your brother and family will notice.  A smile is contageous too as is happiness.  I know it doesn’t happen just like that Rainbowand it’s not that easy as the last thing you feel like doing is laughing and playing happy families but there are even laughter classes now and a yoga disciplline dedicated to laughter because of how important it is for our immune systems and health. 
I once took a very dear friend of mine who was very depressed to see a comedian.  She really didn’t want to come but she couldn’t help but laugh as he was very funny.  She told me that she felt better for two days after.
You are important Rainbow as are your brothers but we need to look after ourselves to be able to look after others.  Take care dear Rainbow.  Helen