hi there iv just come across this site and i liked the sound of it.
soo a bit about me?
im 19 female and just been signed off for for 3 weeks with anxiety and panic attacks.
my family have history of these kinda things and im feeling so down that i used to be the strong one and now its taken over me too. i feel iv lost a battle iv had for years.
i have been referred to go speak to someone but the next appointment wasnt untill 9th may so im still waiting. but i did get to speak to someone on the phone. We did a kinda q&a and it came out that i was also mildly depressed (this was a big shock to me i had no thought i even was).
so i guess im just here to talk to people and share whats happening? thats what you guys are here for i think?
feeling a bit lost and worried about being off work and how long i will be off for, cos i deffo dont feel like i can go back any time soon :(

hi there, thank you for your reply
i am glad that you have shared that with me as i am very worried about money and my work being mad at me for having time off, but like you i also panic because of my job i really dont see any way i can go back any time soon!
thank you for your reply again

Hi there, my name is Will and I first came on the site about 18 months ago when I had to be signed off work with stress.  I was getting tingling arms and my heart was thumping and hurting.  I was diagnosed with depression after completing a form that the doc gave me. I was shocked as I didn’t believe in depression.  My doctor signed me off initially for 2 weeks and I was off for a total of 8 weeks but I was offered redundancy at work while I was off and took it as I couldn’t face going back as it was my job that was making me ill.  I was stressed about money then as I have two kids but I wish I hadn’t worried about it as something always comes up.  I went in to do some warehouse work for a mate and ended up staying there.  I don’t earn anywhere near as much as I used to but have cut my cloth to suit and am much happier with no more panic attacks or tingling arms and my kids get to see more of me.  I am telling you this to try to reassure you that as bad as things may seem right now, they don’t stay like that and things happen that can turn a viscious cycle into a virtuous one.  Hang on in there and take care. Will

I have just returned to work after 4 months off with depression and until the day I went to my doctors 4 months ago I also hadn’t even considered that I was depressed, you know what - I think that realising that you do have an illness and it is an illness is the first step on the road to recovery.  It’s a long and difficult path and I know I have a long way to go yet, I can now see that my journey started right back in my childhood when I was abused by my grandfather then my father.  I don’t like to go there but hey we are the product of our experiences after all.  I don’t like my past but I think that these bad experiences made me a better and more understanding person today.

During a visit to my GP, he prescribed a book for me called counselling for toads - perhaps yours may be able to do also, but it can be found on-line of course: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Counselling-Toads-A-Psychological-Adventure/dp/0415174295
it helped me understand how I interact with others; at one point I thought: ‘that’s me, I am a toad and there’s nothing wrong with that!’

Anyway, I just wanted to say: don’t worry, you are amongst friends - keep in touch.
All the very best, S

Hello Jc123.  Far from seeing your situation as losing the battle, on reading your post I immediately saw it as you getting and asking for help to fight it which will give you a great chance of winning.  No one goes into battle alone.  I think the fact that you’re getting help now may help more than you can imagine right now. 
Taking time off work to do so will hopefully give you the time to do that and recharge.  I know you have to wait for your appointment until the 9th May but I find that in the meantime if there are things that I know I enjoy doing that make me feel better every day that I can do, I often feel in a much better place to be receptive to things and they may help you feel ready to benefit more from any talking or other therapy the NHS offered.  When we are working we often neglect ourselves and are constantly giving and forget to nurture ourselves.  My friend calls it ‘feeding the host so that we can feed the parasites’!  Not a very nice description but I think it does describe well how friends, family, work colleagues and work take from us - even when they don’t mean to and do it with the best intentions -and we need to look after ourselves to be able to keep giving and doing. It’s not selfish, it’s a fact. 
How are you feeling at the moment S?
Have you tried listening to any of the podcasts on the site for relaxation if you’re into that or any of the things that people told us they do to manage panic attacks that are included in our article on the home page?
Take care S and remember that you are important and precious cargo and need and deserve to look after yourself.
Best wishes, Helen

Hello Bear, how’s it going back at work?  Thank you so much for sharing that and the name of the book.  I shall be adding that to my reading list and the reading list on the site.  I always like to know what books people feel have helped them to recommend to others.  Hope things are going well.  Best wishes, Helen

It’s been OK, I had a really difficult day when I’d been tasked with performing a very complex job, I really struggled to think straight and to be honest I’ve not been sleeping brilliantly, I am still working alternate days, my employer hasn’t done anything to fix the issues around my usual jab and the chap who’s been standing in for me is showing distinct signs of fraying around the edges.  So I can’t see me being able to face all that at the moment.  There is good news, there is a vacancy for the job I’m currently doing so I’m going to apply for it.
S

Dear S, I do hope the fact that the gentleman who’s doing your job is struggling already confirms how stressful your job is and why you have been feeling like you have been.  Excellent news re the vacancy and good luck with applying for that.  Hope you’re having a good long bank holiday weekend.  Take care and best wishes, Helen

Dear JC123, I know today is your appointment which is great and just wanted to say that this appointment is about you and you getting help so don’t be afraid to ask about or discuss anything you want to.  Take care and look forward to hearing how it went should you want to let us know.  Best wishes, Helen