My partner suffers from depression and I am having to listen and sa the same thing over and over again and not getting through to her with anthing I say.  I’m hanging on in there and telling her to do the same.  It’s not easy being a carer.  She supported me too when I was depressed though and I love her and we will be ok.  It’s good to know the work of carers is being recognised this week.  Will

Yeah, it’s hard being a carer isn’t it? As you said, there is a lot of listening to the same thing and saying the same thing. It probably makes it even harder not knowing how long you will have to do it for too, you just don’t know where the end of the tunnel is. If you knew, you could prepare yourself for it, but you don’t. I don’t actually think there’s anything you can say to make things better. As I’ve said many times to people before, I think it’s only the depression sufferer themselves who can make themselves better, and only when they are ready to make themselves better. I think all carers can do is be there to listen and offer any support they can until the sufferer is ready to help themselves to get better. As you said, it is good to see carers getting a bit of recognition this week. It’d be nice for them to get more attention as they probably save the NHS millions and millions a year by caring for the people they love, because it would use up so much NHS or Private Healthcare manpower to cover for all the carer if they decided to “not care” anymore. I hope you are doing OK Will.

By the way Will, as you probably know, being a carer and being around depression all the time can drag you down too, so make sure you think about yourself and your own mental state too and make sure you don’t get dragged down again yourself.

Hi Will

All carers need a medal for what they do and if you once suffered depression you also realise how important it is to take care of yourself too. 

So remember to take time out when you need it, a drink with friends, a round of golf, a day at the spa and then you come back feeling energised. 

We all need a treat to feel human again and tackle the next set of traumas. 

Charity begins at home, well, looking after yourself is key to a healthy relationship bar none.  So please take of yourself first, or you are no use to anyone, including yourself.

Yes, supporting your partner is wonderful, but do it cos you want to and not because you feel like you owe her, or you will end up resenting her. 

Invite her along for a walk, or go on your own, take time out.  I go for coffee with friends, bitch about the world and how unfair it is and then I come back with my batteries recharged to fight another day.

Get a punch bag in the garage, do something that expresses how you feel and do it regularly, like once a week. 

Sending you lots of energy hun

Take care

Liz
xx