I’ve come accross this site when looking into getting signed off from work for depression.
Over the past couple of months I just been feeling low. At first I thought it was just the “blues” and it will pass. It has got to a point I just don’t feel like doing anything at all. I constantly feel tired and struggle to get to sleep.  I struggle to motivate myself to go to work but I still make the effort to go. There are times where where my appetite comes and goes like a yo yo. When it does come I just over eat on “junk” food.

I suspect the root cause is financial issues. I recently moved out from my parents place and renting my own flat. Even thou my rent is 50% below market rates (I live in a HA flat) it appears im struggling to fund living alone. The flat came unfurnished so I had to borrow on my credit card to furnish it. (Mostly white kitchen goods). I do work full time however it appears the wage im not isnt a “liveable” wage.

To complicate matters I am gay and also HIV positive (please don’t give me stigmatise me). Also I come from a Muslim background. So obviously being gay and HIV positive doesn’t isn’t tolerated in my culture and religion. The common sense option is to move back with my parents. It will save me alot in paying rent etc. However living with them is a nightmare as I was leading a double life when I was living with them.

Things have just come ahead. I just feel like my life isn’t worth living anymore. I went to see my GP today only to be told “go out and do some exercise” Anyway I have made another appointment to see another GP. Regarding work I have taken one week off in the last month for depression. I did tell them the reason behind it however they have admitted my wage isn’t a liveable wage. But because there a wage freeze at the moment. Tomorrow i just can’t face going to work again.

I am the only one who feels like this? I seems I have a lot of “baggage”

Hello and welcome to the site.  I am glad you’ve found us.  Firstly I would ask to see another GP.  You certainly seem like you need more than advice to exercise.  Whilst exercise is great for depression as is everything else that is incongruent with depression and you don’t feel like doing - like eating a healthy diet, laughing and socialising - some support that you may feel could help in the form of talking therapy or a sick note so that you can take some time off work or direction to group therapy will be a good start. I feel for you.  I can see that your double life was very stressful at home.  Having your own place can make such a difference but is coming at a price.  Could you rent it out to get some income at the moment or share with someone who could share the bills?  Please don’t feel like you’re the only one with baggage.  We all have different baggage and some of us have more than others but it doesn’t mean you can’t get help and get through this and feel better.  We are always here and I’m sure you’ll get help from others who have been through or are going through things. It can help to know you’re not alone and you’re really not. I never cease to be amazed by the support people give each other here despite what they are going through themselves and take time to help others when they have come through it themselves.  Hang on in there.  If you feel time off work will help then go back to your doctor and ask for it as a first step.  Thinking of you.  Helen

Mate that’s a lot you have going on so there’s a reason you’re depressed.  I was very lucky and had a great doctor.  I rarely go to the doctor and didn’t want to go but he was great, understanding and easy to talk to.  He asked me to fill in the standard question sheet to find out how depressed I was, he gave me a sick note to take 2 weeks off work and a prescription for antidepressants which I decided to take. I only had to take them for a few months and came off them under his supervision. 
I am sure that if you go back to the doctor and ask to see another that you’ll find a good one who understands.  If not this time next time.  Keep trying.  You deserve it.  It will make a difference and there are good docs.
As for your situation my money is tight too and I am living back with my parents. It’s not easy is it.  I have kids who come to stay too and it’s often stressful but I can’t afford to do anything else at the moment.  I feel for your situation too.  Maybe a doctor of the same faith might be possible to talk to?  Just a thought.  Take care mate.  Things have to change and surely for the better given what’s been going on.  Will

Thank for you the replies Helen and Will.

I can’t share the flat as it a one bedroom flat. I’m not allowed to sublet it as it’s a Housing Association property (social housing). I do plan on moving away from IT Desktop Support and more into Web Testing as there seems to be more money involved in that. It’s only when I moved out I suddenly realised the costs of having my own place and how my current wage is very low to be funding my own place. The flat didn’t come furnished so that’s the biggest cost and was funded by my credit card.  The furnishing is mostly done only a few bits and pieces here and there.

Going to start to study for a certification in web testing and also I am planning to go to the university careers service this afternoon. They have drop session for looking at CVs and giving advice on them. My current CV looks terrible I wouldn’t give myself a job if I saw it. Also yesterday I saw a student advisor about my financial options in regards to my part time university studies. Because I have a degree already in the past I’m not eligible for student funding. However I do have the option to take a year out but stay be on the “current” fees structure. Which is currently a lot less than what new part times students have to pay starting this September. Or I can apply for a Career Development Loan but Im not keen on taking more debt on and it will make things much worse. The year out is a better option as it will give me the breathing space to sort my career change and current financial situation. Also the university offers a counselling service which I plan on accessing as well.

Im seeing different GP this morning. Hopefully he/she wont just suggest exercise to me.

Dear Moo, I cannot believe how much you’ve done and got organised in just a couple of days.  I hope you’re not ignoring that fact.  I’m a strong believer in self praise.  It’s proven people thrive with praise, self or otherwise.  Too many of us just keep doing without stopping to realise and acknowledge how far we’ve come.  Reading your post was like reading a long check list.  Very impressive.  Well done. I hope your GP visit went well today and that you are feeling better.  Taking action is very empowering. You’ve taken lots of action.  If it works by the amount of action taken you should be unstoppable!  I hope you’re feeling that way and it triggers and upward spiral from a downward one for you very very soon if it hasn’t already.  Helen

Hello Helen

Sorry for the late reply.
The GP appointment went well. However he was reluctant to sign me off sick for a couple of weeks. However I was kinda feeling the same way about it as well. He also asked if I had any strong opinions about not being signed off. I replied back “Yes it would be nice to have a break, however I dont want to take too much time off as I’m worried I might find it difficult to get back to work”. He replied “You seemed to answered your own question” So we agreed I’ll self cert for 7 days. So that takes me to next Wednesday. Also he was worried that I might lose the routine of going to work etc. Which to be fair I do kinda see his point.

I know because of my HIV positive status I am covered by the Disability and the Equality Act 2010 (replaced by the Disability Discrimination Act) so I can request my employer for “reasonable adjustments”. So that might be a better option to go for then just being signed off sick. Im thinking of just reducing my hours for a couple of weeks. However I dont want to impact my financial situation too much.

I had feedback from the university careers service regarding my CV. Its mostly cosmetic changes I’ll sort that out over the weekend.
Right bed time for me.