I am not saying losing my boyfriend was a blessing it wasn’t and isn’t and I hope he’ll still be person who says hi when I bump into him and he has educated me a great deal with catching the butterfly I love that metaphor ..we have two choices ..I use that now with my clients in therapy and it works…about treating myself ...I now go off and give myself little treats…Spinning I go spinning now in the class he encouraged me to attend…I feel and look great and it is thanks to him. I laughed to myself yesterday I have so much to thank him for I am not mad with him. He has been a catalyst for my self esteem. He built me up so high I’m not going to knock me done. I am the only one who can knock me down, I have one of two choices ha ha. ... yesterdays lesson perhaps was to make me strong and see things from my soon to be ex husbands perspective. I never intended being cruel to my husband and I don’t think for one minute my ex boyfriend meant to be cruel to me ...he just loves somebody else…and I had to let go ..move on and give them my blessing. I did say good bye to them both. Lifes hard enough, people die get cancer, have depression. I can hear the birds singing outside, I love this time of the day. I love September morns my favourite time of the year. All fresh starts happen for me in September we’ll see. Have a great weekend Xx Chloe

Hi Chloe - I was trying to imagine myself in the position you found yourself in yesterday.As I said it is my biggest dread. It happened once and turned out to be all perfectly innocent but I remember the feeliing - like a knife in the heart. As always you are being very positive about it which is good. The important thing to keep in mind is that because it didn’t work out doesn’t make you any less of a person. It just wasn’t right for either of you at the time. I suspect it was all too much for your ex and going back to his ex is probably the easy way out. I do wish you wouldn’t talk about being paid back for your sins ! You sound like one of those mean church people you told me about ! I suspect that is what was behind that wierd dream. You haven’t sinned - you have chosen a new path in life. I love Septemeber too - it’s my birthday month and all good things happen to me in September. It’s going to be a glorious weekend - enjoy.
JXX

Nearly forgot “Song of the Day”. Heard this is the car yesterday and was singing along. No special meaning but it is just the best summer song and whenever I hear it I think of lazy hot days.

The Game of Love by Santana featuring Michelle Branch

Tell me just what you want me to be
One kiss and boom you’re the one for me
So please tell me why you don’t come around no more
Cause right now I am crying outside the door of your candy store

(Chorus)
It just
takes a little bit of this
A little bit of that
It started with a kissNow we’re up to bat
A little bit of laughs
A litle bit of pain
I’m telling you my babe
It’s all in the game of love.

This,
Whatever you make it to be
Sunshine set on this cold lonely sea
So please baby try and use me for what I am good for
It ain’t saying goodbye that’s knocking down the door of your candy store

(chorus)
It’s all in this game of love
You roll me
Control me
Console me
Please hold me
You guide me
Divide me
Into what

(Guitar solo)

Make me feel good
So please tell me why you don’t come round no more
Cause right now I am dying outside the door of your loving store

(Repeat Chorus)

It’s all in this game of love
It’s all in the game of love
Yeah, in the game of love
Roll me. control me
Please hold me
Make me feel good yeah.

Hope you like it and hope you can find it and play it loudly today - will make you feel good.

Jxx

I say it tongue in cheeks about the sins Xx thank you you are very kind and have managed to make me feel a whole lot better THANK YOU Xx I guess I like to be punished in a way because I am and was mean to my hubbie it sort of helps put my own guilt to rest Xx It did hurt my pride not my heart ...I sort of was happy to see his ex happy she was so pleased to be back with him and they have some sort of special love ..I walked back to my car thinking ah they are back together now and it needed me in the middle to realise how much they love eachother in a mad romantic way I was glad to be the key to other peoples happiness…They had had a falling out 11 months ago and too stubborn to call eachother. When she heard he was seeing me I think she thought she may loose him for good and it made her chase him and win him off me. Hey if he liked me he would have choosen me. I told him how I felt yet I wasn’t up for a fight. If you love somebody let them go….no I am glad he choose her because my life is back to normal no stress ha ha alls good with the world I can go at my own pace of life and get loads of me time to do all the things I love doing…ha ha Xx which is great for the girl who doesn’t like to be bossed around and told off…who knows I might miss it ???? love the song going on u tube to listen Xx the sun is shining and the sky is blue haven’t got a care in the world how about you ? Xx chloe

“If foolishness were criminal, we’d all be in jail.”
  We’ve had this cookie before I am sure xx

just been on u tube what an amazing video clip thanks for that xx

No probs - will have to look myself. There’s some kind of happy clappy choir event on opposite on the school field today. It’s quite nice in the background. Not sure my neighbours who work nights are quite so appreciative ! Am off to my country seat in a bit Ha Ha ! Be cooler there. Things do tend to happen for a reason but it’s realising that at the time which is tricky. Glad you are coping. Is my dog snoozing in the sun ? Jx

Just watched it - it’s fab ! Amazing video filmed in Latin America somewhere maybe Cuba ? It just makes you want to dance and sing. I love it. Her stripey trousers are cool ! Such a happy joyous song.

yes you have a way of choosing these trendy amazing clips with sexy woman singers ...I love the central reservation song so so brilliant I must watch that one again. Do you know its nice to have a bit of fun and not expect it to last forever just enjoy the experience and have had the love and the laughter and the fun. Bit like kissing a soldier in the first / second world war never to see him again. I shall laugh at what was and going to enjoy the memory and put it down to experience thanks for that advice Jamie Xx

I sort of felt awkward that it didn’t work out with my ex boyfriend it was unsuccessful and I felt abit ashamed and daft really. I got to thinking right thats it never again…then I thought why am I beating myself up I gave something a go it didn’t work. I gave something a go things shouldn’t have to work they are expected to yet they shouldn’t have to. A bit like Edison with his light bulbs 999 times until he found one to work ..like Marie Curie with her cures for cancer…I gave it ago, that was my moment my time and accept that its over and put to rest now. Like Mike dooleys TUT for the day talking about stuff. Actually at first I need to talk about the experience to off load because I haven’t got a mother or a sister to talk to yet I notice a aggrevated pain now if I talk about my ex again its like I need to put it to rest now close the wardrobe door put it to bed and train my brain to think of other things…it can be done. Its my mind I own my mind I have one of two choices to think sad or to think happy. I am reflecting mostly on what I have to avoid and thats negative thinking. If I have a thought that gives me that glup dead dread I throw it out and replaced it with a positive. I have FANTASTIC friends a beautiful home a great car and lots of nice clothes to wear plus I found myself a life. Today I am off to a party for lunch. I did have a party to go to last night yet I didn’t quite get to it I best forward my appologies today. It was a scuba diving club party in the middle of a friends field camping it is only down the road so no need to camp. I chickened out because none of my other friends were going. Today there are lots of people I know. I hope your having a great weekend Xx speak later xX Chloe

One of the secrets to not worsening a condition or circumstance, is to never, ever talk about it.

Of course, exceptions can be made for doctors, counselors, and, on rare occasions, ice cream store hostesses.

Double chocolate,
  The Universe

Invariably, a sudden disappointment, a bit of “bad” news, or a flock of butterflies gathering in your stomach, are all omens that a fabulous adventure is fast approaching.

Hit me baby,
  The Universe

Hi there - phew it’s hot in here tonight. Watched the footie today - England were dreadful but it was nice to see how well both sets of supporters got on and enjoyed their day. The German girls in the crowd were far prettier ! You SHOULD go to parties - see yourself as a debutante out for the season. Summer is here to be enjoyed. It’s usually very short but we have to make the most of it. My mother and father were like two teething babies today complaining about the heat and bickering. Drives me mad. Glad I am back to my pad and can chill a bit. Yes I agree with you - I had a terrible habit of making any relationship like something out of Dr Zhivago !! It had to be THE ONE and was so intense. It’s what drove me and L apart. A bit of flirting can lift your spirits and just because things don’t always work out it’s not that you are unloveable. I sometimes go to a Cafe Bar at an Arthouse Cinema in the City. I love this place because it’s a stunning building and very popular with Yummy Mummies for coffee. I just love sitting there listening to them chatting away about their lives “Jessica don’t put your finger in William’s ear - it’s not nice !” Ha Ha !
The music video thing is a complete accident - I had never seen that one of Santana until I told you about the song !
Jxx

Talking about music to make you happy - have been messing around on You Tube and found “Music Gets the best of me” by Sophie Ellis Bexter - now that is a summer song ! I first heard it in a bar in Tuscany and have loved it ever since. The video was filmed ” just me mucking around in Torremolinos” and is brilliant - such fun. xx