Hi Helen,

Thank you for thinking of me, and your thoughtful note.  I do need some positive energy and strength to get through the hectic week.

My moving date is next Wednesday, and we fly out for our trip the next day.  I feel quite stressed at the moment, you know, too much to do, not enough time :-0 Not a big fan of packing, cleaning etc!!! Very much look forward to the trip though.. only if I could skip the moving part.  It’d be great if you could use your magic wand for me, you know, for things to go smoothly

Your story is very inspiring and I look forward to getting a copy when it is ready.  It will be 1 year for this website soon as I just realised, and I admire your courage and kindness for doing so many amazing things for people who have depression. 

Keep on being well, Helen.  You give me hope-knowing you have gone through all this, it makes me think that I can do this too.

I LOVE THIS FORUM, AND IT KEEPS ME MOTIVATED TO GET WELL¬ GIVING UP!

Thank you.

Kind regards

Amazing Sister Chloe,

I’m back, and you’d b proud of me as I HAD MY HAIRCUT today:-)  I even had an AHA moment at the salon as I was just telling Kayfer earlier…  I was thinking of you when I walked down to the salon this afternoon, and telling myself that I can do this!!! You are just so wonderful, sister.  Do you have special power or something?

Tonight I also did some packing with the boyfriend, and no fight involved as we just got ourself busy doing stuff.  I organised a packing/moving list and went through it with him before, so we can prioritise and focus on the most important stuff first in order to reduce stress.  God, I haven’t felt this together ever since MAY this year when the black dog came back to my life!!!  This is a good sign, right?

My dear boyfriend also sold the spare bed in the guest room today, and the guy will pick it up on Saturday morning.  I guess there will be no more spare bed for me to go to at night any more :-0

Thank you for all your tips re sleeping.  I’m gonna go have a shower, drink some warm milk, then read Marisa’s book in bed for a bit.  Hope I’ll sleep better tonight.  Maybe I can even imagine something pretty like you do…

Love you lots and hope you are smiling

lol

Just recently when I read yours and Kayfers I cry. It’s a nice happy cry, I just get delighted to hear you happy. ummm so glad to hear you got the aha moment ummmm yes does it make sense. It’s sort of a nice strange feeling for me. I remember when I worked in a beauty salon when I was younger and the owner gave me a make over. I looked in every shop window on the way home and boy did I get the aha, and I never saw a single person to show it off to ha ha. You really have got it together Hope with the moving. I think I know where you are coming from with the last minute mad rush. When I get overwhelmed I feel awful, oh I hate that feeling. When we moved house I packed a box a day. It worked and was a really stress less move. I asked the old owners of this house if I may put my boxes in their garage. I had a tiny baby and a very ill husband he had glanular fever , they said yes and Ha Ha I moved one day at a time in true Kaizen fashion and moved the entire house on my own. I was desparate at the time and it seemed the only way. I began to get overwhelmed this end again so I unpacked slowly too. Well I am going to imagine something gorgeous LIKE YOU Xxx just thought what you wrote and changed it around teeee heeeee. Oh it’s so exciting remember excitement feels the same as anguish remember santa XXx teeeee heeee it’s a nice lump in the tummy feeling and it’s going to go smoothly and it doesn’t you know one day you’ll laugh your head off about as if it was a comedy. I LOVE YOU SIS XXx

I told my partner about you guys, and he said that you are all so amazing people.  Sorry to make you cry, sis, at least it’s happy tears! 

Chloe, I love your one box one day suggestion, and I think that I will de stress myself by doing one thing at a time.  I still didn’t sleep very well last night, but I’m OK and even got up early today.  I rang my mum this morning, and telling her about my stress level etc.  Guess what she said to me?  I still can’t believe my ears.  My mum said: “You have been doing so well for the last few weeks, and I am so happy for you.  You have been organising the move/trip very well, and exercise regularly and I am very proud of you.”  I am still in shock as my mum does not praise me as she told me it is a childish action, namely praising.  Well, today was a first, and I took that as a compliment and I am just so surprised that she’d say that to me!!!  I guess it is a good thing, right? You are a great mum, sis, and your daughter must be the luckiest girl ever.  I thought to share my AHA moment with you

Well done on doing your walk, sis.  Regardless where you do it, I think it is still top effort - good stuff!  I went to my Body Balance class today even though I didn’t feel like, but I’m glad that I went and it just feels so good from all the stretching movement etc.  I AM VERY PROUD OF US FOR LOOKING AFTER OURSELVES!

I asked my boyfriend to take a day off next week to help out with the cleaning and moving etc, and he’s got that free day now, so we both feel a bit more relieved. 

The weekend is coming up, are you planning to do anything fun?

We are going to catch up with the family, taking back a few boxes etc, hoping to have some down time, too.

Love you lots, sis and thank you for being my beautiful cheerleader!

lol

I went for a power walk last night in the dark it wasn’t intended however one of the neighbouring farms was on fire and so my friend and I went to look we walked in the dark with only a torch. My friend did feel It was not particularly nice to watch somebody house burn yet it was interesting to see a large fire. I took my daughter to watch too they are doing the great fire of London at school. Luckily it wasn’t their house and everybody was safe. No animals or people were hurt so my claim to fame was power walking in the dark up hill and down vale with a torch. We went out again this morning. I am amazed how much energy I have. I have this energy that makes me feel wonderful XXx HOPE that was WONDERFUL what you mum said XXX that is soooooooo WONDERFUL XXx Do you know I am proud of us guys too. We are all amazing. Thought you would like the story of me moving one day at a time. Now I know you are a true sis because you get me XXX and you listen to me xxx thats so wonderful you never talk against me you just listen xxxx I wish i shared that quality with you. i have another friend who is like that and i would so love to be like you and her a true listener xx You inspire me and you have warmth love and are caring YOU CARE and your decent kind and true. Can i have some of what your on. I really do admire you Hope and your mother probably can see some of what I see in you too. Bet she can add intelligence and grace to the list she can see you so I bet beautiful is at the top….I LOVE YOU SIS XX

Sis Chloe,
I’m so happy to hear that you have amazing energy nowadays.  It makes huge difference,doesn’t it?  I think your positive attitude towards life, regular walks and amazing love for everyone and yourself are all the top factors to make you feel alive and fresh.  WELL DONE!

Sis,thank you for your beautiful words about me.  I don’t really feel like that right now as I just had a silly fight with the boy over some packing stuff.  It is so silly, really.  I don’t take criticism very well, so when he made the comment about my labeling being too small, I just snapped :-0 I hate it when I do that.  We were having such a good day today, you know, we both had a good sleep last night(finally), had lunch together in a nice Italian restaurant, I did some productive packing this afternoon…everything was going so well till just now.  I need to cool down, so I came here to get away for a bit.  I wish I could be more relaxed sometimes if you know I mean?  I am in love with him, but it is not always easy for me to express myself.  I feel upset when I fight with him, and I wish I could have done it differently :-0

Hey sis, you do LISTEN.  I remember all your postings are so heart warming, coz you listened to what I said first.  You are generous, full of compassion and so loving towards people and animals.  I JUST LOVE YOU SO MUCH, and am so grateful that you hear me and understand me.  You are the TOP!!!

It is raining outside.  I feel a bit calmer now.  Hope I didn’t bore you with my stuff.  Enjoy your weekend, and please give my beautiful sis CHLOE a big kiss and hug from me, yeah?

Thinking of you

lol

I need to make a hypnosis tape for a friend who has thyroid cancer she can’t take her medication for her thyroid gland because of the cancer so her body has slowed down and she has the symptons of depression. Believe it or not you guys are helping her be a surf babe another branch another root on our trees. Because I am telling her to ride the wave because you guys have taught me so much about surf babes and you are so strong I have put all your hope onto her, your strength we ALL can do it PULL XXXxx through Xxx and tugging at my heart strings. I love you guys so much. Hey Hope please be nice to my sis if she gets a bit stressed say there there there it doesn’t matter it’s human to snap, I do my husband does, my daughter does, so do I, the dog i.e when my daughter tugs at his ears. Your allowed to be human Xxx In psychology the clinical psychologist lecturer laughed and said to be happy all the time would be considered mad !! I attended a lecturer on it, so it and it’s not possible. When I worked for a big drug company because I pushed myself to be happy all the time come what may they thought I was stealing the drugs, they drug tested me !!! It was the fluffy bunny nuns telling us convent girls to turn the other cheek be polite and show strength of character by not reacting to insults and slander. Ha ha normal people on the outside world thought I was a nutter. It’s good to snap. In psychology you would not be around the mean average to be happy all the time you would be an outlier and ruled out of the experiment wheter you existed or not as a statistical extreme and not included in the data. Beautiful Hope Kayfer and lovely Brencoot I only have time for this post and I think Hope might be due for bed. LOVE YOU Hope love you all Xxx so I am off Xx LOVE TO ELAINE XXXXX

Love to you Helen Xxx

hello,

Hope you all had a good weekend.  I spent time with my family and friends and watched two new movies in the cinema.  It was our long weekend here, so it was good to have that extra time with the loved ones and having a break from the packing etc.  O, I also bought myself a black dress and a top to take with me to my trip.  I know I should not have spent the money, but they looked really good on me, and I really like them.  Well, I got them.

Back to the packing today as it is the last day for it.  I am telling myself that I can do this!!!  Sister Kayfer, I know how you feel about being sensitive and hearing the comments from your hubby, I can relate to you.  If I could be your cheer leader here, sister - you are doing a FAB job, and please be kind to yourself.  Your son sounds wonderful and he makes your smile and that’s just so great. 

Sister Chloe, thank you for your note on snapping.  I can be quite harsh on myself and feel bad about letting the steam out, yet it is so comforting to hear that you say it is OK to do that.  I know that I love my boyfriend very much, and we had some tension this morning re finalising the moving etc, but I remembered what you said, and it was OK in the end.  You are so wise and beautiful, sister.

Brencoot, good to hear from you, too.  I try to workout with my boyfriend, but he is too competitive for me most of the time.  Therefore, I usually walk while he does laps of running, and we meet up in the end of the workout.  Not doing much exercise at the moment.

OK, better get back to my packing.  Wish me luck, everyone :-0

Love you lots and thinking of youl!

LOL

Such a bad day today.

The removalist just told us that they can’t do the job tomorrow - truck broke down..and it is such a late notice.  Who can do the job now?  We are leaving the next day?!

I feel upset, angry and had huge fights with the boyfriend for this, that and everything.

All I wished for was for things to go OK,but why is it like this?

IT SUCKS AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!

Hi Hope
I can well understand your frustration and anger at the removal people, Im sorry to hear that though - what a nuisance for you - what will you do? When is it you go on your travels?

I hope it gets sorted for you soon, im not much help really, thanks for your lovely message, it made me happy to get that off you.

im sending hugs to you and keeping my fingers crossed for you.

oh and ive finally made my hair apt, im having it done this afternoon, you inspired me getting yours done last week so thanks to you im going to look a new woman in a few hours, you are a star Hope, thank you. I shall let you know how it went, oh and im at Yoga tonight, need to do some deep breathing I think.

me again
sorry ive just read your post when your going away, this Thursday right? I can see why your stressed.

I meant to ask how are you getting on with Marissa’s book, are you finding it helpful at all, I loved reading it, found the exercises quite hard though and think I may need to redo them, I am still listening to the CD though every night so Im hoping some of that is sinking in.

Hang on in there sister Hope, you are doing brilliantly. Im thinking of you and sending warm wishes your way, if I could wave a magic wand over your way I would do.  Just remember You are Enough.

love & hugs xxx

There is no magic today.  Everything went wrong today, we even got locked out of our place.  Had to ring lock smith to open the door while we waited in the cold.  What’s happening here?

I started crying, and stopped talking to my boyfriend this evening.  He is concerned,but I feel so upset and just cannot stop the negative thoughts after such a long draining day.  I don’t feel that I can do this anymore.  Who am I kidding with?  Travel? I just want to be in bed and hide and cry.  Can I get up tomorrow is a big question here…

What’s wrong with me?  Once upon a time, I would see all these as a challenge.  Now I just can’t handle anything, even the slightest comment from someone.

I’m to be so low…I wish I could do something about it,but I just want to hide myself and leave the mess behind.  I can’t beat it.

Hope you can beat it YOU CAN xxx remember the saying no pain no gain, without the challenge there is no achievements Xx No aha moments just stagnation and pollution. You need to move to make it happen MOVE forward move away from the negative environment. You are a wonderful wonderful person. Put your flower in the sunshine not the dark. You are that beautiful flower you need to be moved into a nice warm place loved and watered regulary. If you go to bed you’ll wither and die Xx Yet Helen says sometimes it did her some good. I have been doing my power walk watching the film celestine prophecy, James Redfield, all I could think about was you Xx and Kayfer. It talks about people stealing eachothers energy and people taking control of people and stealing their energy with put me downs and control. I was really enjoying the film yet I have to get on, I have so much to do Xx I needed to get on and say hello Xx I love you Hope Xxx you are so strong and wise and you know you ll turn this around and laugh about this one day. In the film they said people had to see the sadness to appreciate the good. They talk about getting energy from nature and being kind. I need to watch more tomorrow. It is pouring with rain here and I got drenched on my power walk yesterday so I decided to walk inside today to get my energy. I saw lots of pheasants flying out of the bushes they made me jump. I bought my daughter the next series of the saddle club, the australian kids pony series. My daughter loves it. Hope I am sending you some energy now can you feel it XXXXXHUG HUG HUG XXXXXXX You have achieved so much Hope you are amazing you are doing it Xxx you are a success and you are going to Fly XXX trust me pull out those wings and fly groovie chick Xx

I thought I would tell you a funny story to make you laugh Xx Years ago I was staying in a hotel with an ex we had been drinking all day as we had been to a wedding and had gone to bed early a little bit worst for wear. We stayed in an Ibis and the door to the bathroom also shut the door to the bedroom. Well my ex got up went to the bathroom and instead of coming back in the bedroom opened the door to the hotel room and went out onto the landing. He then knocked the door and shouted for me. Eventually a little old man answered the door and said no she’s not in here. He was naked !!! and very disorientated he tried other doors and there was no me just lots of shocked faces. Me was fast asleep oblvious to what had happened. He had to go down to the hotel lobby and ask the porter which room we were in as he was locked out naked !!. It was still late and people were at the bar drinking watching him stark naked with his hands over his manhood. He then was led to this tiny lift whereby he and the porter crammed in together with him naked. The porter then let him back in with his key. When he told me in the morning I just felt sooooooooo sorry for him !!!!! Hope I thought this story might make you laugh Xxx You haven’t done anything wrong it just going to sound a really funny story like this one Xx one day soon Xx depressioncanbefun you’ll look back and laugh about it soon when you feel better XXX promise XXXHUGS XXX