Hi

I seem to have hit a wall at the moment.

I work as an IT contractor for investment banks and as a result of the market have ended up without a contract for 4 months, so am eating into my savings.

I’ve taken positive steps to try and get myself a new job, looking far and wide from London to Zurich for a suitable job.  Competition is extremely tough and at every turn I seem to be candidate number 2 getting through to the shortlist of 2-3 candidates but never getting a job offer.

I’ve done training, I’ve literally sent thousands of CVs and talk to agents every day, I worked late into the night to ensure that I am up to date with everything, but I feel burnt out and exhausted.

My partner is not always understanding and is on medication herself for depression, but doesn’t seem to understand my predicament.  We have 2 kids, one of which is a lively 18 month old boy who is very demanding.

I just don’t know where to turn, I feel embarassed to be without a job, I feel angry and at the same time desperate regarding the job search.

I thought about going to see my GP, but I’m worried it could affect my ability to get a job in the future.

Thanks for your support.

My GP is not discreet about my depression. I felt labelled by my doctor she had Bi polar in bold across the computer screen so that the nurse who gave me a flu jab could read my notes. I was diagnosed with bi polar in 1997 after an hundrendous thing happened to me. I spent 6 months in bed with depression. I have not had any symptons since or medication. Then in 2008 i notice the label at the top of the nurses computer bi polar. I was so embarrassed and upset. I have since seen 2 psychiatrists who have said there wasn’t anything wrong with me, one cursed the doctor for wasting his time. So i wrote to her and asked her to remove it which she did. I have heard friends say they wished they had not gone to see the doctor and got labelled. However how are you going to get help if you don’t go and see somebody !!! I feel iiresponsible telling you that you might need help yet I feel it is my duty Xx Your under alot of pressure at the moment. i believe in my heart with all my heart that everything is going to be ok and it is. I read about luck and chance and bad luck last night and it’s called serendipity, there is something better on it’s way. It’s just the beginning of a beatiful new start for you and your family. Have you watched the movie shapespear in love there is always something good waiting around the corner. This may be time for make and mend, yet you need to slow up abit you need to smell the flowers and realise what a wonderful guy you are and you’ll have a job soon so spend some quality time with your family. It’s going to come right, honestly when hasn’t it in the past, i am right aren’t i ?. The same happened to my neighbour he put himself through hell for what, he has a brilliant new job now. Promise me think positive be positive and you’ll attract positive to you like a magnet it is the law of physics. your going to get a job soon, so save all that energy for something good, save it for some quality time for you. i.e Nice game of football with the little man. Elvis said the man who can sing when he hasn’t got a thing is the king of the whole wide world. I think it’s on the album king creole. Good luck not that you need it you’ll be snatched up soon. Xx HUG trust me i am older and know these things tee heexx it’s just around the corner trust me.

Hows it going Simon? Sounds like you are having a really rough time. I’m not a sufferer of depression myself, more of a carer, but can understand the pressures that a man feels under to have a good job, be earning decent money etc., so I can completely sympathise with that.

I understand your concerns about going to the doctor, but to be honest, the older I get, the more I realise that health it the most important thing, cos without it, you can’t do anything. Without it, you certainly won’t be up for getting a job. I realise it’s very easy for me to sit here and say that, but just think about, and odn’t beat yourself up too much. Tough times at the moment, it’s not your fault.

Hope you are doing OK.

Hi Simon,

I just read your posting, and wanted to check in and see how you are doing.

Sorry to hear re your current situation.  It must be hard for you and your family at the moment.

Recently, I joined this forum due to my depression relapse this year.  People on this forum are very nice and helpful, and they have helped me a lot in many ways.  Glad that you joined in and we are here to listen, share and encourage one and other to get through the tough times.

Health is so important, and please try to take care and look after yourself.

My best wishes to you and your family.

lol

Sending you lots of best wishes Xx hope your feeling better Xx

Hi Simon, I see and feel for your predicament.  I had a similar predicament and it stopped me seeking help for over a year.  I was in denial that I needed help and to be honest I didn’t know what was wrong with me as I didn’t know what depression was then.  I just knew that I wasn’t coping and was becoming more withdrawn from everyone who cared for me.  In the end I was just getting out of bed to go to work.  I was so fearful that if there was something wrong that it would jeapordize my career that I told myself that everything was fine but it wasn’t fine at all.  In the end I had a total breakdown and ended up in hospital for 3 months and couldn’t go to work.  So I was forced to give up the job that I had been so scared of losing.  What I will say Simon is that if I had sought help sooner, I don’t think that my recovery would have taken so long.
If you want to speak to a counsellor or a psychologist you can find one yourself and don’t have to go through your GP.  You only need a referral from your GP to see a Psychiatrist who can prescribe antidepressants.  If you are feeling down and need a crutch, I would strongly recommend taking Filisa.  It is an excellent herbal remedy.  People were praising it on the site before I even put any information on the site about it.  Read the testimonials on their site and see what you think for yourself.
http://www.littleherbal-international.com/
Also, when I wanted to come off my antidepressants my psychiatrist strongly recommended that I take a good omega with EPA.  Please make sure that you get a good brand of supplement as the cheaper brands often don’t contain enough of the right ingredients to make a difference which discourages you from continuing with it.  If you feel up to it, you may feel like reading the article on the site about Natural Remedies.  Also, if you feel like talking about how you feel and don’t want to take your worry home and burden your wife (although I’m sure she doesn’t see it as a burden), would you feel comfortable with group therapy?  Depression Alliance hold weekly therapy groups across the country in larger towns.
http://www.depressionalliance.org/docs/what_we_offer/self_help_groups.html
Smaller towns often have their own groups.  You can find information about these at your library or GP surgery and on the site.
I went to a play with my mother-in-law some time ago now and one of the people we went with was a gentleman in his 40s who used to work as a banker.  He had a stroke in his early 40s and was in a wheelchair.  I am not scaremongering Simon but it did make me think at the time that money cannot buy your health.  I was ill at the time and unable to work and stressing about losing our house and embarrassed about being depressed.  It did put things into perspective somewhat. 
I don’t mean to lecture.  I do hope that it does not come across as that. 
Thinking of you and wishing you well.  Take care and do keep in touch, Helen

I’m sad to hear about your situation. I hope you’re feeling good already. If not, you’re free to share your problems here and we’ll talk to you about it.

Regards,
Serena
prêts travaux

Hi Simon, I really feel for you mate and hope that you are feeling a bit better.  I have been feeling dreadful for months due to stress at work and the way the management treats the staff.  We are never allowed time out.  We are bombarded with sarcastic, bullying emails in the evenings and weekends and are expected to leave our phones on in case of emergency call outs so get woken at all times of the night.  I have been getting palpitations, tingling in my arms and numbness and shortness of breath but like you daren’t go to the doctor for fear of it jeapordizing my career and future employment, particularly as I want to get out of here and find another job.
Like you I’ve been to several interviews and always seem to get to number 2!  I got on a real downer last week when I was turned down again.  I don’t know how much more I can take.
It’s so god damned unfair.  I feel for you mate and wish I could give you some useful advise.  I can’t at the moment but I wanted to at least say I empathise.  I know that I am lucky to have a job but God knows I am thinking about handing my notice in because I am scared of what it’s doing to me.  I want to be around for my kids.  No job is worth this.  Anyway, Simon, sorry for moaning.  It wasn’t meant to be a moaning session.  I was trying to make you feel a bit better.  Not sure I’ve done that but I do hope that you are ok.  Will

Hello Will and Simon Xx hope you are well and happy Xx wishing you every happiness in 2010 Xx if your still no great have you tried the website I love panic attacks and panic away they give free emails full of advice they are wonderful Xx I heard a man on radio 2 uses meditation (MCBT) he has CBT and uses meditation to help him through his episodes. He fits meditation into his everyday life. He says he makes time for it. I hope you are feeling better you sound such gorgeous decent people you deserve to have great quality of life Xx Other people do exercise to help shift episodes of stress and panic Xx Hope you manage to make time for YOU in 2010 you sound such busy people with wonderful strength of character to put up with the bullies Xx you must be wonderful and strong to tolerate all that Xx Stay being wonderful Xx it suites you sir xx

The guardian tuesday 5 Jan 2010 - Mindfulnesss Three minute exercise
mindfulness is described as a way of paying attention to feelings ans emotions so that they can be managed. It involves meditation , yoga and breathing techniques.
’ three minute breathing space’
1. ask yourself what is my experience right now ? and notice any body sensation, thoughts or feelings you are having without judging them.
2. place your attention on your breathing following the in-and-out breath as it naturally occurs.
3. Expand your awareness to the whole of your body continuing to notice any thoughts feelings or physical sensations that occur without judgemant.
Hope this helps :0) xx