Hello

I’m sorry I haven’t been ‘around’ much the last few days. I have been reading and seeing what you are all getting up to etc, butI’ve been finding it hard to say anything useful back! I don’t know why, I have been feeling OK in myself except for finding it hard to keep focused on anything. I keep feeling overwhelmed by what I have to do work-wise and home-wise and just ‘life-wise’, and then panicky because of that. The daft thing is I know there is no need to feel like this. Rationally I know it will sort itself out but I don’t seem able to stop myself reacting like this.

Sorry, rambled on again, and not really fair when I haven’t responded to anyone all week.

Take care
Glynis

Glynis,

I can understand a little in what you are saying.  Sometimes I am lost for words, to try and understand how to help people.
I think the most important step ask who were are each day.  Glynis u are every part a friend to me as the other people on this site.

I was worried about you all week, I then thought you have been busy at work. 

Told you before you never go bla bla bla, we are all friends. I think it’s brilliant to see you back again.

Take care Paul

Hi Glynis,

Its really good to hear from you.

Don’t feel that you have to offer advice in every post - Just saying hello so all your friends on here know you are OK is enough and even that doesn’t have to be every day if you don’t feel like it.

I know exactly what you mean about the procrastination. I often feel I have so much to do, that I end up doing nothing

It might help you to categorise what you have to do In to:
- “Must do now”,
- Could be left to tomorrow or next week (the danger of this one is it could become a must do now tomorrow or the next week so don’t build up too many of them),
- Doesn’t really matter if I do it or not.

If you can, why not delegate or at least ask for some help with some of the tasks from someone?

With regards to home-work, I’m guessing by this you mean house-work. If not please ignore the next bit of this post. However these are some of the type of quetions I ask myself when I’m feeling overwhelmed. They are not meant to be taken literally, but just as a way of illustrating what I’m trying to say:

- Would it really hurt to have a “ready meal”, a take away, have a meal in a pub or a fast food restutant, or even just beans on toast rather than a full home cooked meal just once in while?
- Do you really need to do things like the washing and ironing etc yourself or could you just take it to the laundrette for a service wash, just as a little treat to yourself.
- Who would really notice if you left the cleaning for just one time, or did half the house this time and the other half the next time?
- Where is it written that the bed has to made every single morning - it will only get messed up again tonight anyway?
- So what if you only mow the front garden, rather than both front and back this weekend?

Like the rest of us on this site you are not feeling very well at the moment, would everyone expect you to do everything if you had broken arm or leg?

I hope some of this helped in some way,

but if not, have a great bank holiday anyway.

Karma

I Just wanted to say good night to everyone and I hope you all enjoy the bank holiday.

hey Glynis,
I know what you mean about feeling overwhelmed by everything in front of you. Karma gave great advice…here is what I did.
I bought a notebook and assigned a page per list. (dont be scared I love my lists !)
Each page was headed something different .....things to do today ..like go to the post office/supermarket…on bad days I would list things like “make my bed” .
other pages are…... things to do today.
                ......work things…urgent/long term
                .......housework stuff
                .......counselling stuff (its easy to not set aside time for you to go thru advice from counsellor and it is important that it gets its own little page !

hope this helps…..like Karma/Paul have said there is no pressure to advise every post but just communicating with your pals on here who understand the daily struggle is important. Like Paul I was a bit concerned after your last post that you had disappeared off the radar !
Take care,
kate

Hello

Thank you for your replies and suggestions.

Paul, as ever, you are a positive influence on me with your attitude. Inspite of all your difficulties you always find time to repond

Karma ... I liked your suggestion, although I have to confess that the cleaning has been left many times recently and the house needs a good spring clean! I think that might be where katybear’s lists can come in useful!

katybear - I like lists too, except when I get tnhis I forget to use lists lol! Maybe I need a list of ‘things to do when I feel overwhelmed’ lol. I know what you mean about forgetting the counselling stuff ... somehow it feels self-indulgent to have a list about ‘me’, but at the same time ig I ignore ‘me’ like this then nothing will change.

So thank you ... all of you

take care
Glynis

Hi Glynis,

If the house needs a total spring clean you could still break it down, perhaps into a room at a time; or if its really bad, pick just one room and only do a corner each day, or even every other day.

Don’t feel you have to do the whole house in one go - you could even use Katy’s brilliant list idea to break the house up into corner’s and days. When you’ve finished a section, be sure to give yourself a little reward.

The important thing according to the book by Dr. Cantopher (Depressive Illness - the curse of the strong) is to give yourself plenty of rest. As soon as you start feeling tired, STOP!  If you force yourself to keep going on and on, you risk making yourself worse.

Karma - 27 May 2011 07:00 PM

Hi Glynis,

Its really good to hear from you.

Don’t feel that you have to offer advice in every post - Just saying hello so all your friends on here know you are OK is enough and even that doesn’t have to be every day if you don’t feel like it.

I know exactly what you mean about the procrastination. I often feel I have so much to do, that I end up doing nothing

It might help you to categorise what you have to do In to:
- “Must do now”,
- Could be left to tomorrow or next week (the danger of this one is it could become a must do now tomorrow or the next week so don’t build up too many of them),
- Doesn’t really matter if I do it or not.

If you can, why not delegate or at least ask for some help with some of the tasks from someone?

With regards to home-work, I’m guessing by this you mean house-work. If not please ignore the next bit of this post. However these are some of the type of quetions I ask myself when I’m feeling overwhelmed. They are not meant to be taken literally, but just as a way of illustrating what I’m trying to say:

- Would it really hurt to have a “ready meal”, a take away, have a meal in a pub or a fast food restutant, or even just beans on toast rather than a full home cooked meal just once in while?
- Do you really need to do things like the washing and ironing etc yourself or could you just take it to the laundrette for a service wash, just as a little treat to yourself.
- Who would really notice if you left the cleaning for just one time, or did half the house this time and the other half the next time?
- Where is it written that the bed has to made every single morning - it will only get messed up again tonight anyway?
- So what if you only mow the front garden, rather than both front and back this weekend?

Like the rest of us on this site you are not feeling very well at the moment, would everyone expect you to do everything if you had broken arm or leg?

I hope some of this helped in some way,

but if not, have a great bank holiday anyway.

Karma

Thanks a bunch for all these tips. They helped me too!

Professor Katherine Bodenhamer Anderson

Hi Glynis,

I thought I’d join in the lists discussion because it’s something I find really useful, especially when I’m feeling down like I am today. For example I wrote a list earlier that says:
Put washing on
Unpack food shopping
Water plants
Check emails
Pack bag for work tomorrow
Tidy living room
Dust
Hoover floor
So it’s all really achievable stuff but by writing it down and ticking it off it stops me feeling overwhelmed. I don’t need to think about what needs doing next because I just do what the list tells me. Hope it helps you too.

Hope people don’t mind me being selfish for a minute now but I’m sooooo angry today and I need to SCREAM! I don’t know why - I’ve had such a nice weekend. I keep snapping at my boyfriend then feel even angrier at myself because he doesn’t deserve it. Hope you all don’t mind me going like this: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”! Now I feel tonnes better! Just had to let it all out. Sorry if I’m sounding crazy and/or selfish!

Hope everyone is doing ok, sending out lots of love xxx

Hi Gemma,

I haven’t checked out this part of the site in any great detail, but I have noticed that there is also a carers forum. You might want to suggest to your boyfriend that he might want to join this part of the site so he can ask any questions to other carers.

Also there are several books about recommended books about depression both on this site and amazon. It might be worth reading the reviews about the books with descriptions of depression and ordering a copy of the best one for your boyfriend to read so he can better understand what your going through and that more often than not its your frustration with your illness thats talking rather than you.

Dear Kitty,

Welcome to the site - I’m only too pleased that I was able to help in some way.

We are all friends that understand each other on here. Our other friends mean well but sometimes it helps to share our feelings who know what we’re talking about.

I’ve received some wonderful support and advice from the other members, and also ofcourse Helen, and I have absolutely no doubt that you will too.

Take care,

Karma