Happy Bank Holiday everyone,

I had a bit of wobble this morning, which is so annoying after having such a good day yesterday. 

I’m due back to work on Wednesday and after this morning’s wobble I’m not sure if I’m ready yet. I’m really worried about what will happen if I have a wobble in the office. My job is quite stressful and just recently even the tinyest amount of stress is causing me to “crash”.

I’ve been off work for four weeks now. I haven’t had this long off in the previous ten years put together. My GP is signing me off for 2 weeks at a time (I see him again tomorrow).

I know this is verging on the “how long is a piece of string” type question, but I was wondering, for those of you who have been signed off work and gone back - how long were you off for? If I get signed off for longer I’m worried my employer will think I’m “swinging the lead.”

Thank you for your help,

Karma

Dear Karma, I checked with a couple of people whom I know have been of work sick recently and both said that the length of the sick note seems to be at the discretion of the doctor.  The most time one friend had was a six month sick note for serious illness.  My other friend had two months off and got a sick note every two weeks as the doctor wanted to see him every two weeks to see how he was doing.  He had to fill in a form each time to determine if his levels of stress were getting better/worse etc.  If you feel like you need more time to avoid the stress coming up to the end of a two week sick note,  could you try explaining that to your doctor to see if he can write a sick note for longer if that’s what you would like.  My motto these days is to ask for what I want because ‘If you don’t ask you don’t get!’.
I can understand and remember wobbling in the face of going back to work at the end of my regular sick notes.  It’s horrible if you don’t feel ready to go back.  I try to take out of my life what is stressing me if and when I can (not possible as often as we’d like is it?!) and if a two week sick note were adding to my stress, I would ask my doctor for a longer one. Thinking of you Karma.  Do let us know what happens.  Helen

Goodness Karma I bet this post is too late to answer your question.  I’ve just re read it and seen that you are due back tomorrow.  I am so sorry for the late reply.  I’ve been driving from London to Scotland.  Did you go to see the doctor today? Helen

Hi Helen,

Thanks very much for getting back to me.

I did go to see my GP today and explained I’m still having the occaisional wobble.
He has signed me off for another two weeks. He has also doubled the dosage of my medication.

Are you having a holiday in Scotland or is your trip work related?

Hi larma sat on the seafront . Meds going up i know the feeling. I was up on your meds at one point. Are you alright been off work. Have you plenty to do my friend apart from being a bright star to us all. Helen i am glad you got to scotland . Church soon. Big thank you to all my friends . Paul

Hello Paul,

I hope you enjoyed yourself at church.

I’m actually trying to avoid doing too much at the moment. The more I try and do, the worse I seem to feel, even something simple and relatively stress free like shopping seems to trigger feelings of anxiety. Goodness only knows how I’d feel if I went to work.

I’m hoping that the increased dose of my medication will help me cope better.

Hi karma

Just back in, your med is really good I think. i got changed because I need to sleep. This what Trazdone does.

I know what shopping does esp Tesco. I hope you start to feel better soon my friend.

Dear Karma,  I am so pleased that you went back to the doctor today and are signed off for 2 more weeks.  Was there any mention of the sick note being for any longer?  I know what you mean about small tasks causing anxiety.  Even speaking to really good friends on the phone filled me with angst because I didn’t feel able to string a sentence together without messing it up.  I used to write my planned speech down word for word and call when I knew they’d be out and leave a message on their answer phone to return their calls.  I couldn’t face them or making a fool of myself.  It was awful.  I couldn’t concentrate on anything either.  It was SO frustrating.  I went from reading the FT cover to cover on my 30 minute journey to work to not being able to read a few lines in a glossy magazine without reading it over and over and over.  It’s amazing what this illness can do to you but it is an illness, it can be treated and get better.  My psychiatrist told me that over and over and I still hear his words.  As I’ve said before, my husband would always say that my negative words were the depression talking and not me.  I remember his words too and they help.  You take care Karma.  I hope you sleep well tonight.  Helen

Hi Paul, I used to sit on a rock on the beach in Scotland where I used to live when I was ill and stare out to sea. It helped me.  I still do it every year on New Year’s Day. I make a point of driving to the coast and staring out to sea to look back on the year passed and forward to the next with my goals for the year.  I did it this year in Runswick Bay as I happened to be in the Midlands for the New Year.  I always get some strange looks but I just smile to myself.  I had to reassure someone this year that I was ok!  It works for me and I look forward to doing it.  You seem to love the sea too.  Anyway I’m off to bed as a busy day tomorrow.  Goodnight to you.  Helen

hi karma, sorry you are having a wobble :(  you are always so helpful and caring to everyone on this site…I’m guessing you are truly a caring person “in real life ! too….please remember its important to look after YOU too….
I hope that your meds start working soon. In the meantime just take little baby steps and don’t overdo things. you are doing completely the right thing by resting up..
Tomorrow will be a better day. Maybe a walk in the sunshine ?? I hope so-nothing better for the spirit
Take care
Kate

Hi Karma, I haven’t been on the site for a while as wrapped up at work but saw your post about sick notes.  I was signed off work last Christmas with depression for 2 months and had to go back to the doctor every 2 weeks for another sick note.  Not sure if this is standard or necessary but the doctor asked me to complete a form each time about how depressed I was feeling and take it back to my next appointment and check how I was.  I didn’t think about asking for a longer one as wasn’t really with it at the time.  A mate of mine asked me to go into help out at his workplace one day given my experience in his field and a year and a half later I’m still there!  Never went back to the old place.  Never expected to be working for a mate but it’s working out alright.  I’m not on anywhere near the financial package that I was on before but I’m much happier at work than I was which is what led to my depression in the first place.  Good luck mate and all the best.  Will

Hello everyone,

I have had a update on my Back to work plan.

I had a call from my line manager today who wants to meet me for a chat on Monday to see what else they can do to make my return to work easier.

The plan now is for me to do 3 hours per day on alternate days - so 9 hours per week starting as from Wednesday.

Sometimes admitting how your feeling to your employer really is the best thing to do.

Dear Karma, that’s such great news.  How are you about the meeting on Monday?  Ok I hope as it does sound like they are trying to get you back to keep you back so are willing to work with you.  It sounds like they’ve missed you!  I find meditation fabulous for my depression.  I have to admit to not doing it often enough though.  I went along to my local buddhist centre to learn how to do it.  My friend joked that they’re were lots of us/people there who couldn’t afford psychiatrists but it worked for us!  I think that’s why the latest much talked about treatment for depression is ‘mindful meditation’.  Even the NHS are adopting it as a treatment for depression.  I haven’t any experience of it myself but have spoken to lots of people who have and rate it very highly.  An expert is writing an article for the site about it at the moment.  Keep up the fab work Karma.  Helen

Hi all

newbie here

I have suffered with anxiety / depression for most of my life (now 39) and i have recently over last few years had issues with my job which is in media and is becoming more mentally challenging.

I have been off for 2 months now and i understand Karma’s dilemma. I have spoken to DDA and have been advised that reasonable adjustments need to be made, but talking to HR and management is like banging myt head against a wall. They have agreed to a phased return to work but my concern is what happens after that phased return, they wont commit to supervising my workload and they feel i should not be treated differently from other members of the team. I have explained this causes me concern and makes me feel vulnerable and i am seeking legal advice now from trade union.

I am due to see my GP also but i feel since things are upo in the air i may be walking into an anxious lions den.

it amazes me how people just dont understand mental health still, and managers just dont want to do what they are paid for and thats to manage

Hello Tony, I can understand your apprehension about going back to work.  I had it too.  I ended up not going back and sort of regretting in but I didn’t feel that there was anything in place to support me back in the office. 
Can I ask if you like your work?  When you say the job is becoming more mentally challenging, do you mean that the job is becoming more mentally challenging or you are finding it more mentally challenging? When you took time off was it due to feeling overworked and exhausted or a feeling of not being able to cope?  Do you feel that you have benefitted from a break from it?  The fact that you say you are due to see your GP suggests that you’ve seen your GP before.  Did you have any support during this time from anyone in the form of therapy to give you coping strategies or mindfulness meditation which is now available on the NHS?  I guess with all the cut backs and targets put on companies in these ever more competetive and difficult times, the workload and deadlines will keep coming but meditation and other coping strategies can help people.  If you haven’t had any of that kind of support, do you think it would help and would you consider asking when you do see your GP? 
It is true isn’t it that there is remarkably little known about and very little in place for support for mental health issues out there and particularly in the working environment.  If there were something in place to quell your concerns about going back to work, do you think that you feel ready to do that?
Sorry for all the questions Tony.  I hope that Karma will come back with his wise words re going back to work as he’s going through it at the moment.  Best regards, Helen

Hi Karma, how has this week been?  It seems like Tony (see his post above) is going through the same paces as you about going back to work.  He’s a few steps behind you and concerned what will happen after his phased back to work period ends.  It’s the weekend now Karma.  You’ve made it!  I hope you have a lovely one.  Best wishes, Helen