Hi guys been to see my doctor today and he has signed me off for another two weeks

if my sessions with the therapist go well i may ask work if i can return on a four day week to enable me to finish my therapy session

Dear Algol, that sounds like a great plan.  I don’t see why a workplace wouldn’t go for that as they get you back in work and know that you are getting support at the same time are more likely to stay at work.  I do hope so.  I’ve known lots of people do that.  It’s also good that you have weekly sessions.  I think longer than apart is too long.  The therapist sounds flexible to consider more sessions too if you want or need them.  Algol, this sounds good and hoping you can relax a bit more knowing help is there, especially feeling so much better after just one session.  If that carries on, just think how you’ll be feelng after a few more.  Take care. Helen

My work has just phoned me saying that my sick note from my doctor says i may be able to return to work if help is offered and so they would like to have a meeting with me discussing what can be done.

I was hoping that i could have a couple of sessions with my therapist before i had to face work. I feel trapped and as though things are spiraling out of control.

Evening Algol, my first reaction to your post is that it may give you the opportunity to ask your question of work about the 4 day week you spoke of last night to allow for the opportunity to continue your therapy.  I am not sure otherwise how you would have put this request to them and remember that this was your idea and what you decided you would like to try to do only yesterday.  Maybe their ears were burning.  I am sure that if your sick note is for 2 weeks you will not be expected to go back to work before then.  Also allowing them to see you they will be able to see for themselves that you are really not fit for work quite yet.  To try to reassure you I have known this happen quite a lot.  On one occasion someone I knew was offered quite a substantial amount to leave which would have financed them for over a year if they didn’t work; another went back to work very gradually starting with half a day one week to a full day to two days and so on.  Another person I know has been doing 4 days back at work for 6 months since going back to work and has been put under no pressure to go back to 5 days a week and has not had to take a cut in salary.  Your employer does have a duty of care at work.  Maybe this is a chance to see what they can do to help you.  If you don’t like it Algol, you can always thank them very much and ask for some time to think things through.  Given they know you’re not well I don’t think they’ll expect an answer there and then.  You can take someone along with you if you want to like a friend, family member or whomever.  You never know, far from being a bad thing it might turn out to be a good thing for you.  I certainly don’t want to tell you how to feel as anyone would be concerned but your therapist wouldn’t be offering more sessions of therapy and the doctor wouldn’t be signing you off for another 2 weeks if they thought you were 100%.
I’m sure you could ask for some more time before the meeting if you feel you can’t do it right now and you could explain that to them but would you just be stressing until it happens and would you prefer to do it sooner rather than later.
Goodness I am thinking about you Algol.  I can only imagine how you’re feeling right now and I am sending you lots of positive thoughts.  Helen

You’re right Helen i have to face it sooner or later. I have to remember that i am in control and can handle this

Hello. I have dealt with a lot of the same anxieties. What helped me take a turn for the better was when I started taking a more hands-on approach (due to being so frustrated with getting no results from my medicine). I recently read a book “You Can Cure Your Depression” and it helped with me realizing what I can do to help myself naturally. I hope you get to feeling better soon!

Hang on in there Algol.  We are right behind you.  Helen

I must read that book Mktaphr.  It’s on my list after you kindly mentioned it before.  I hope you are well. Helen

Hi Algol, my work called me into a meeting after 6 weeks of me being off sick with depression.  I was really angry and really scared and thought they shouldn’t be calling me when I was off sick and shouldn’t be allowed to.  I’m still not sure if I had to go in but I did.  They gave me several options.  1 was to stay off work and go back when I felt well enough. 2 was a payout to leave.  I went away and thought about it and accepted the payout. I hated my job and it was because of my job that I was ill so I left. I was very scared as I didn’t feel well enough to get another job but relieved because I didn’t have to go back to that place.  A mate of mine asked if I’d go in and help at his workplace with some stocktaking and I’m still there a year later.  The pay is a lot less than my other job but I am happier, I don’t get panic attacks or tingling arms or palpitations.  I had to give up my house but it’s worth it for me.  You take care Algol and my advice to you would be to try to go with the flow and not worry.  Easier said than done I know because people were saying that to me and I couldn’t listen but looking back wish I could have.  Will

Cheers for all the advice guys. Im off to see my therapist tomorrow then meeting with my manager on tuesday. It seems that the closer i get to a return to work the worse the symptoms get.

Had about 3 hours of restless sleep last night before being fully woken up by my cat in the early hours.

The main thing is i feel terrified when thinking of work but so ashamed when i think of how im letting my family down.

Actually feel worse now than i did originally.

Ill keep you all updated as i find your support and advice inspirational.

Algol

Thinking about you Algol.  Wish I could wave a wand and take all your angst away.  I hope that by Tuesday evening you have an outcome you are happy with and can get rid of this angst.  Hang on in there Algol.  Helen

Just got back from my meeting. Unfortunately it was a bit of a disaster. They kept asking me what i wanted them to change. Of course i didn’t have an answer for them as i still do not know what the problem with me is. My therapist said that well know more after a few more sessions and then may be able to suggest some changes.

All i could come up with was i was feeling like i didn’t have enough time to complete my tasks. To which they replied they’re happy with my workload and speed so do not feel that they are legitimate concerns

glad to be back home

algol

Hi Algol, I am sure that your hesitancy and indecisiveness said more than you could have known at the time - that is that you are not ready to go back and are not yourself and that you are clearly unwell.
Did they acknowledge that you are adhering to the sick note and the therapist and doctor’s advice which is to take two weeks off and go back for another visit then to establish whether you need another sick note?

If there is anything else you want to say to your employer maybe you could write it down and specify it to your doctor and therapist next week and they could relay it to your employer and/or add it to another sick note.  As you say your therapist said you will know more in the upcoming sessions and that will be relayed to your employer.

At least your employer knows you’re actively trying to get help to sort out how you are feeling and not just taking time off with no end to it.

You take care tonight. Well done you Algol.  I cannot imagine how frightening that must have been today. 
Can I ask how you felt going into work and then being in work?
Did you see any colleagues and if so, how did you feel about that? Please don’t feel you need to answer tonight. 

You’ve achieved so much today Algol.  Just going in there is a massive achievement.  They talk about baby steps.  That was a massive one. 
Helen

To be honest Helen i was terrified. Haven’t been that scared since i went up the eiffel tower.

At the minute something is obviously wrong with me. I felt as though any of my concerns were being minimized .

I said that i thought i was struggling with the work and struggling to hit my targets as the workload is to much and too soon.

Too which the reply was we have no problem with your speed. Despite being told at least 3 times in 5 months that i wasn’t working fast enough

sorry for the huge post

You know what Algol I would take as much time as you need to feel better.  You’ve done exactly what they asked you to do.  You are off sick.  I would definitely explain to your doctor if you feel you can, or ask someone else to, the implications of them telling your workplace that you could return to work with amended duties.  I think s/he’ll be impressed you went so quickly and handled it as you did.  If you explain how it went, I think and hope that s/he will see you need and give you more time.  I wish they’d all listen to your therapist who’s saying you need more time and is wanting to work with you to get you there.  You rest up tonight Algol. I’m drained just listening to what you’ve been through.  I hope that sense of dreading is over for a while until you see your therapist on Monday and tell them what’s happened and come up with a solution together rather than allowing your mind to run wild and ruminate without guidance.  I don’t think you can do anything between now and then anyway can you?  So try to look after yourself in the next few days.  Thinking of you brave Algol. Helen