Helen - a question for you. What will I get out of CBT that I can’t get from a self help book ? Feeling a bit down tonight - like I have signed up for something I don’t think will do me any good… Drinking again. Not good.

ps - watched the videos tonight. You were amazingbut it really irritated me that the presenters just wanted to concentrate on your shopping - like it was some kind of girlie thing ? Bet you must have wanted to punch them ! I admire you enormously. Surely some kind of award beckons.. MBE, CBE ?
J

Ah Xxx Jamie Xxx your gorgeous wonderful great and fun Xxx put out the trash and come and have a laugh with us xxx I mean the trash in your head every time you have a bad thought tell it to F**K Off thats Richard Bandler NLP Xxx please be good to my wonderful friend Jamie HUG HUG HUG Xxx it gets better Xxx it always gets better Xxx HUGxx

Dear Jamie,

Well done for making it to the session.  I know you didn’t really want to go.  It was such a lovely day today and you spent an hour in a room with someone new delving into stuff that makes you unhappy when temporarily things didn’t seem too bad today.

After years of psychiatry which involves talking about your past and how dreadful it’s made you feel, I just felt worse.  The pattern of mind which makes us vulnerable to depression is rumination, in which the mind repetitively reruns negative thoughts (as you know!).  Talking therapy just reinforced my negative thoughts as I left the sessions feeling ‘Woe is me, my life is so bad, no wonder I feel so terrible’ with the bleak prospect of going back the next week and the next to do the same thing.  I was left with no hope amongst the despair. 

CBT is a more positive form of therapy which helped me look forward.  It acknowledges the past but gives and shows you the belief that recovery is possible and the expected outcome and gives you the skills to cope and feel able to go and enjoy life and the future and not fear it.
       
I did the same thing when I was ill.  I drank far too many gin and tonics and given that gin is a known depressant I was asking for trouble.  I also spent lots of money as you’ve seen.  That was the biggest symptom of my bipolar depression.  I even escaped from hospital one day to go shopping.  My husband knew where I’d be and had me escorted home.  I can see the funny side of it now but it sure wasn’t funny then.  Nothing seems funny right now Jamie.
 
When my marriage fell apart because of my depression I was very low.  We remain friends which it sounds like you are but that too is hard to begin with because you can’t understand why it didn’t work.  I now know that my husband isn’t a doctor and he became my carer by default.  It was difficult to move beyond those roles and back to husband and wife.

We even laugh together now about ‘The Happy Days’ as he calls them.  He’s a good man.  L probably finds it very hard to see the man she cares about struggling with depression.  A partner can put everything into a relationship with a depressed person and it still won’t be enough.

You will be in a better place soon Jamie I promise you.

Treatment comes in many different forms.  It can be from a friend, from a hobby, from a support group, from a therapist, from taking time out.  We are all very different and wonderfully unique.  What works for one may not work for another.  A therapy might be the right therapy but at the wrong time for you.  I wasn’t ready for therapy for a long time.  I couldn’t concentrate to read either so spent a long time in my bed which didn’t help either but when I was ready for therapy,  CBT was the therapy for me.  Other things that I never fail to do which work for me are:
I take my omegas (Vegepa which is high in EPA which is very good for depression) every day; I exercise;I eat a good diet;  I balance my life as much as I can;  I rest when I can if I’ve been stressed or tired and I make sure I laugh every day even if I don’t feel like it;  I make time for special people in my life.

Try to work out for you what makes you feel better and try to do more of it Jamie.  I really wish I could wave a magic wand.  You will wave it when you’re ready Jamie.  In the meantime we are all here for you.  Isn’t Chloe wonderful.  There is a wisdom obtained from first hand experience that I don’t think can be convincingly articulated by knowledge alone. Everyone on this site is testament to that.  You too.  Thinking of you Jamie.  Goodnight from, Helen

Thank you. You know exactly how I felt today. Good night to you too. Jx

Jamie my daughter was crying and I had to put her to bed xx then I woke up at 5 am and thought of you XxhugXx I thought of my councelling and I felt so sick back then bringing back all the bad incidences then the lady said right times up and I was put out into the street I had to walk home I was distraught xx I was cross with the woman I hated her and called her a bitch over and over again in my head it was psychodynamic as oldfashioned as Freud ohhhhh I felt dreadful and all I kept thinking 5am was I hope Jamie is ok Xxhug Xxx One year after psychdynamic councelling I became very ill and spent about 6 months off work in and out of bed it was dreadful, I can see my bedroom now I had painted it orange because it was the fashion. Because being ill was a dreadful business for me, absolutely dreadful It took me approx 2 hours to walk to the corner shop and back and I felt such a freak. I kept stopping and sitting on walls and was worried if anybody saw me from work they would think I was faking illness. The doctor gave me drugs that made me ill so I had to give them up because I kept vomitting. I just used to go home curl up and cry and cry and cry whaling from the sadness inside me. Then people started appearing, kind loving gentle people. One friend climbed over my back fence and got in through the back of my house I was so angry yet she never gave up being kind loving and caring. Later I found out she had been depressed and she needed to help me, because there is no real help just social support from eachother. I didn’t know her very well at the time we had worked together in an office where I was an admin officer 5 years previously whilst waiting for a scientific post to open. I never realised how much I was liked, the girls in the office really cared about me. From then on I had a string of callers from work and the bosses wife used to take me out for lunch that did worry me silly that I would be accused of being a fraud, trust me they just cared and wanted to see I was getting better. (I worked with engineers and mostly male scientific staff and I tested soda lime in rebreather systems for deep sea trials). I realised I needed to change my life after a time because as I was gradually getting better. Better takes time with alot of care and love. I had CBT then a year after I was sick, when I considered myself better and I thought wow I could have done with this sooner. I believe there are all kinds of different ways to help, all kinds of different ways to get better. Yet I honestly believe my friend the psychiatrist is so right in saying love is the greatest healer. NLP is a very powerful tool and so is hypnotherapy. I believe and its my belief ok that people like Marissa Peer do more good. Now I know that is a sweeping statement yet watching her on the television with Helen I was really impressed and I have seen people improve dramatically after seeing life coaches and therapy that does not bring up the past. I have discussed with friends also that denial is probably the best therapy !!!! because the bad nasty thoughts don’t need to be recalled. I really am worried about you Xxx please tell me you feel better Xxx HUgXx Thanks for listening to me its only my views not fact or empirically recorded, just my oppinions XxhugXx I believe I got better by being positive by moving on and leaving my painful life behind I even stay away from people who hurt me, I am civil to the meanies hello goodbye smile and walk away and when I am having a brave day I am myself with them (hug) yet meanies are meanies and I am dull and I love me for being dull Xx my mind is my temple it has to take me up until 100 years, only joyful thoughts may enter teeee heeee xxxI hope you are ok Xxx I hope you didn’t drink to much I can’t remember my psychology now I think its GABA alchohol affects what have you done to you gorgeous gorgeous mind xxx be nice to my friend Jamie XxhugXx Chloe

Jamie Xxx I just wanted to say I think your wonderful XXX I really really do Xxx because you have been through hell your sooooooooooooooo strong Xxx trust me I can see it xxx stay strong XxhugXx Chloe

Hi,

CBT can help you to change how you think (“Cognitive”) and what you do (“Behaviour)”. These changes can help you to feel better. Unlike some of the other talking treatments, it focuses on the “here and now” problems and difficulties. Instead of focussing on the causes of your distress or symptoms in the past, it looks for ways to improve your state of mind now.

Regards,

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Oh wow that is a perfect description of CBT Xx