Hi Everyone,

I’m feeling very anxious at the moment.

I’ve just posted a reconciliation letter to the friend I fell out with so badly, which added to all the other stress in my life, tipped me over the edge in to this depression.

When I wrote the letter I felt OK about it, but as soon as it heard it hit the floor of the postbox a horrible feeling came over me which I cant shift.

Please can anybody tell me if they have tried writing a reconciliation letter, and if so, what was the outcome?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you

Karma

Karma

You have to write from your heart my friend.  Then I will pray for the letter to be recieved with kindness, I will pray you are forgiven because you are a really kind caring person.

I have emailed the NHS , I told them I couldn’t fill the form out.  I have no confidence and self worth.  I have no one for references, it was a loosing battle.  How can I do things like this when my belief has gone. Plus I have upset someone on the forum. Sometimes I am a bad person

Adele sing it out baby cute baby with a massive caring heart

Paul

Paul

- You are nearly always the first person to welcome new members to the forum and share your wisdom and encouraging words.
- You spend more quality time with your son than most fathers who live with their children.
- You have been in the army, serving your country.

You most definitely are not worthless.

As for you upsetting someone on the site - I don’t know who you upset, or what you said to upset them, but I’m pretty certain that was never your intention. Either you made inadvertantly mistake or more likely they did when they interpreted what you meant.

Everyone on this site is either depressed or has been depressed and recovered. One of the characteristics of depression is to magnify negative events out of all proportion. Another characteristic is to personalise negative events i.e. to take far more responsibility for them than we really should.

Shakespere said in the play Hamlet: ” for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. “

I think I may have posted these syllogisms before, but I think they are worth posting again:

All humans make mistakes.
I am human.
Therefore I will make mistakes.

People can learn from there mistakes.
I am a person.
Therefore, I can learn from my mistakes.

Please don’t lable yourself a “bad person” over a simple mistake.

Karma

Karma,

I have no self confidence when it comes to job application forms.  I need help from somewhere to address this problem.

I have to say where would we all be without your support. The time you spend helping others in a great bearing on your nature.

I have looked at the words yes they are true

Thank you for your support

Paul

Hi Paul,

Like most things in life there is a knack to filling in application forms.

When I have to fill one in I take this approach: -

My hand writing is pretty bad, so first of all I fill the form in lightly in pencil and use capital letters, checking for spelling mistakes and so on.

In the sections where there are large blank spaces I use a ruler to create light pencil lines so my hand writing looks straights.

When I have completed the form in lightly in pencil, and checked it for spelling mistakes I then go over the pencil in pen so it looks neat and tidy. Having done that (and making sure the ink is dry) I use a clean rubber to rub out the pencil marks.

When you are filling the form in there are also tricks you can use. If for instance you took a Christmas job in a shop for two weeks, say from 20th December 2009 to 5th January 2010 on the application form you fill in the dates as 2009 - 2010. You have not lied (lying about anything that can be checked i.e. facts should be avoided at all costs) but unless the person sifting the application forms looks very carefully, it appears as if you worked in the shop for two years rather than 2 weeks.

Jobs with application forms generally also come with job descriptions (NHS jobs nearly always do). On every application form I’ve ever completed, there is a section at the end where you need to give additional information in support of your application. This is where the job description comes in. A job description will often list essential criteria (and sometimes desirable criteria).

Make a heading for each of the essential criteria in turn and write at least one example from your passed experience (preferably work but if not use your social life) to provide evidence of how you meet every single one these essential criteria.  For example, if one of the essential criteria is Team Work:

TEAM WORK
In the Army effective team work is essential. Every soldier has to be able rely on and trust all their comrades completely to do their job in life or death situations.
Or an example from your personal life:
Active member of my church, singing in the choir and volunteering to help out with all fund raising events.

If you can quote some impressive numbers, then that’s even better.

When you have completed the application form, keep a copy so you don’t have to keep coming up with new things to say when you apply for other jobs. Also keep the job descriptions – If you apply for a similar job, which doesn’t have a job description, then use the job description from another job that you have already applied for as a guide to the essential criteria you should be mentioning on your application form.

If you are rejected for the job - do phone for some feedback on what they liked and didn’t like about your application (be polite but persistant as you can without being rude). Also ask for advice on HOW you could improve the bits they didn’t like.

In your template application form, keep in the bits they did like and (if you can) change the bits they thought could be improved.

I hope this helps a little bit.

Best wishes

Karma

Dear Karma, whilst I have no experience of writing a conciliation letter, I wanted to say that if that is what you did you must have needed to and thought that that was the right thing to do.  I know you’ve put a lot of thought into it.  By writing you put the ‘ball totally in your friend’s court’ as they say which is probably the way it should be rather than a more agressive or forthright method of contact like a phone call or an email or a visit.  I would probably have done the same thing Karma.  Thinking of you and hoping you’re doing ok.  Helen

just be yourself in everything that you do.