Hi my name is Aprille Iam 51 years old and have been off work for 5 weeks due to depression. I have been seeing a councellor and am on anti depressants so my care has been great. The depression came to light when I was taken off my depo contraceptive injection wwhich was due to my age.
Going back to work is scaring me to death I cannot believe that I am like this.
Thanx for reading this.

hi thats awful ive suffered for years with depression and have just had a baby at 40 ha ha and am thinking of going back after being off for a year im sure you will be ok i bet your friends want you to go back and it will do you good as well to get back mixing with people xxxx

Thank you it is such a lonely illness even among friends. x

Hello Aprille, welcome to the site.  It sounds like you’ve been very proactive in doing something about how you feel which is great and I would say a huge step forward towards feeling better.  Can I ask how you are finding your therapy?
The fact that you say your depression started when you stopped your hormonal contraceptive injection suggests your depression might be hormone related.  Has your doctor suggested that?  We have an article on the site about hormones and depression.  If you care to read it, here’s the link:
/index.php/Depression-Special-Articles/hormones_and_depression/
You are so right about depression being a lonely illness even amongst friends.  Often when I was feeling so bad the gaiety of others around me made me feel much worse. 
Like any illness, I think that unless we have experienced it we cannot really understand as much as we try to or would like to and let’s face it we wouldn’t want anyone to have to go through it and face it so often we have to comfort ourselves with that fact.
As for work Aprille, I am sure that your doctor will agree to repeat sick notes until you are feeling more up to thinking about work and maybe work would consider a phased return to work which is what a lot of people on this site have done recently.  Two members on the site, Bear and Karma, have both had very successful returns to work depsite really not wanting to go back initially if you feel like reading their posts.
Are you doing things for yourself that you enjoy Aprille?  It may sound silly but simple and small things that make us feel better when done on a regular basis can make a huge difference to our mood and indeed our lives.  Mine is a cappuccino a day!  It doesn’t take long; I can do it most days ;wherever I am and whatever I’m doing I look forward to it; it’s my treat and it makes me feel better.  Do try thinking of what makes a difference to your life or could make a difference and try adding it and including it to your daily routine. Others on the site have suggested walking; others reading a magazine; drinking a cup of tea outside; a coffee with friends; a bath; buying yourself or picking yourself flowers.  These are just a few things that have worked for others.  It may be something totally different for you.  Do let us know if you find yours or have found yours if you feel like sharing it and do take care Aprille.  Thinking of you.  Best wishes, Helen

i know it is i even find it hard to talk to my partner about it and i only really have one close friend but my mam suffers but i feel guilty talking to her at the min im finding it hard to cope and dont want to go out on my own xxxxxx

Dear Mandy, congratulations on your wee baby!  I’m so glad you’ve taken a year off too to be with your baby.  How are you finding motherhood?  My sister often says that we are led to believe that babies are such a gift but no one tells you that what you actually get is a crying, weeing, pooing, hungry, merciless bundle of stress!  I don’t have children myself but have lots of godchildren and my nephew whom I babysit and often think that if a child can’t make us smile (as well as scream), nothing or no one can.  I hope you are feeling well and when you are ready to go back to work, will you and your workplace be considering a phased return to work?
Take care Mandy. Welcome to the site and very best wishes, Helen

Hi Mandy, I know I used to be afraid of upsetting those close to me (husband and family and friends) by telling them how I really felt. 
I know you say that you are worried about going out on your own but how do you feel pushing your baby out in the pram?  Does that count as being on your own?  I guess if you have a baby, it may be difficult to go out to a self-help group but they are a good support from like minded people often with someone leading the discussion and supporting the group. Most towns have a depression support group.  There will be information in your GP surgery or library or local paper.  The Depression Alliance have a support group in most towns. When I was afraid of going out, I used to use these groups as a goal to get me out, i.e. I was going somewhere specific whilst at the same time going out.  It made going out less of a deal over time.  I even met up with a few of the group members for coffee sometimes which got me out.
We’re always here on the forum to support you but what about a walk around a park with your baby or to your local coffee shop for a coffee with or without a magazine.  You don’t have to talk to anyone there.  It’s quite acceptable to be minding your own business.  Though if you have a gorgeous wee baby that can often get people talking to you if you want that.
You don’t have to go out for a long time to start with. You could just walk to the post box to post someone a card or to the paper shop to buy a magazine.  I find baby steps lead to bigger ones and don’t expect too much of myself to start with.  When you do look back though after time, it’s amazing how far you’ve come.
Take care Mandy.  Helen

Hi Helen
I did mention the hormone thing myself to the doctor but I do not think I was taken seriously. I think that being on the depo for over 20 years and then stopping had a lot to do with this illness.
I am seeing a counsellor and have been for about 8 weeks no she does help as I know she understands. I have also read several books on depression which I have found helpfull.
I will get through this I know but it is 1 hell of a struggle.

Dear Aprille, it sounds very much like your attitude alone could get you through.  I am glad that you found therapy helpful and have a therapist you feel comfortable with.  It makes all the difference doesn’t it.  You take care Aprille.  Look forward to hearing how you are getting on.  Did you read the suggestion of Rescue Remedy I talked about to Mandy.  It helps to calm one in stressful situations.  I always carry a wee bottle for specific times when I or others are worried.  It’s a herbal remedy.
Best wishes, Helen

Dear Aprille, i know that post natal depression isn’t the same as what you are going through but my wife was told that it was her hormones that were causing her depression after the birth of our child and told her that her hormones would balance out given time after the baby was born.  I just wondered if maybe once some time has lapsed since you stopped your injections that your hormones would balance out and your depression would lift.  I do hoope so.  Best, Will

Hi Will, Thank you for you response I do hope that this nightmare ends soon as I feel that I am missing so much of my life.

Hi,

I’m a 23 year old man also going through depression, things are very tough at times, I’m just writing to say, things might be easier if you have someone to talk to, if anyone wants a chat or a friend, I’m currently off work if anyone wants a chat.

Hi Eddie, I am also new to the site but I find it a comfort to know that there are other people out there with the same illness. You are very young so it must be even more difficult for you, I am on the computer on and off as I am on the sick at the moment. Take care, Aprille

Hi Aprille, just wondering (and hoping obviously!) if you’re feeling any better today?  The sun is shining here, I hope it is there too.  Can you carry a chair outside and soak up some rays?  Thinking of you.  Helen

Hello Eddie, welcome to the site.  I hope that some time off work is helping.  I also think that sharing and talking about it can really help especially when people can understand.  I have found some of the support and strength from people on this site absolutely humbling.  It’s good to know you’re not alone sometimes and feel part of a community.  Helen

Hi Helen. Not too bad today Im afraid no sunshine but I have been out for a drive. I am just spending some time reading and have just watched a dvd something I have struggled doing for a while so positive I guess x