I’m fairly new to this site but I have to say I get a great deal of help from simply typing in how I feel. And if someone decides to respond then it’s a real bonus.

I still find it hard to get up - 11 today. That frightens me as I have never laid in bed. I’m not sure if it’s my body trying to recover or the drug concoction making me sleep. When I wake I’m filled with dread and the shakes hit me in seconds. The fear of losing my mind totally and the fear of losing my business.

I’m so lucky to have some great mates around me that are sorting out various other problems for me. You certainly soon find out who your mates are!

I’m going to start at Mind next week so I’ll see how it goes. I think you have to tap into as many areas/support groeps as possible and see if it helps. If it doesn’t then walk away. I sadly have a particular friend that as much as he wants to help I cant face him - I don’t want to be rude but I just avoid the calls.

Helen, if you’re reading can depression go on for months/years? I think I have so many issues that if I am truly aiming to be happy it will take a long, long time to get it back. I’m not concerned if it does take time as long as at the end I’m going to look back and say ‘yes, as painful as it was i’m a happier person now’.

Deal with one thing at a time. Explain to your friend how you feel. It is hard but it’s one problem you can deal with now and by him understanding and you knowing he’s there,  you can relieve some of the pressures. Ignoring the calls is making it worse and you don’t need that.
Deal with the things you can and get help with the rest. You do know who your friends are and I’ve discovered that a few of my friends have been in the same predicament as me so by being honest and admitting how badly I have done at times, it has helped because I know they’ve been there and know how awful it can be.
If you feel you can’t get out of bed, give someone a key and get them to come around for coffee or something.  That way you will have company and will have to get up.  I think the drugs do make you sleep more but that’s not a bad thing.  Maybe write down some of the problems or get someone else to and see what you can do to knock one of them off the list.
Don’t let this beat you.  As Winston Churchill said (and my dad keeps saying to me) “never, never,  ever give up”. He had depression and didn’t give up and look what he stood against and won!  He is a true inspiration to me.
xxx

Hi Steve, to answer your question. From my experience, just because we have had a problem for many years or have many problems or issues, doesn’t necessariy mean that any therapy or solution will also need to take an equally long time or be any harder than if we had only be suffering for a short time or had one problem or issue.
I believe it is possible that if you find the right therapist for you (which you will so don’t give up if you don’t connect with the first or even second therapist), then you can get a solution that works for you, so that you can feel strong, empowered, and positive without needing to take drugs for long periods or even at all.  Always be guided by your doctor but also don’t be afraid to trust your instinct as you know yourself better than anyone and what you sense will work for you probably will! 
There are lots of different styles of therapies around, so do some research and find the one that you sense will work with you! Your doctor will be able to advise you of your medical options and there are many things that you can do for yourself too. We are all different, and what works for one person may not for another. 
Given that you have a family and a business you have probably haven’t had much time for yourself for a long time, and as much as I know your children and family always come first, it is now also time to consider yourself too!!  They will benefit by you doing this as they will have a happy father, husband and boss back. 
You may decide to reassess your work situation.  Or you may with some treatment actually look forward to returning to work with renewed vigour. 
Try not to have too many specific expectations.  Goals and dreams are good.  Don’t stop having goals or dreaming. Just don’t make them too unrealistic.  That way you will enjoy making them and achieving them.
Steve, I couldn’t pick up the phone to anyone when I was at my worst, not even tomy dear sister-in-law who is the most amazing nurse in the world and the most understanding person. I couldn’t have been or be without her but I couldn’t face anyone. 
I used to call people when i knew that they would be out and leave a message on their answering machine that I had written down word for word.  I couldn’t bear the thought of sounding stupid or not being able to find the right words to keep a conversation going.  I did not want to appear rude but did not want to speak to anyone.
These are all the horrible symptoms of depression.
If you have lived in a happy state once, you can do again Steve and you deserve to so please whatever you think will work for you, seek it or do it now.  Thinking of you. Helen