Sarah you are who you are what ever you are you are YOU and nobody can ever take that you away from you and in every you there lives success just waiting to happen and the mistakes the upsets the challenges make that you the you everybody else grows to love and respect Xx Chloe

YOUR DAILY INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE:

“You already have every characteristic necessary for success if you recognize, claim, develop and use them.”

—Zig Ziglar

To Your Abundance ...

You are wonderful Xx

believe it and you’ll see it said Wayne Dyer

Dear Sarah, how did it go today?  Well I hope.  I just wanted to say good luck for tomorrow.  Not that you need it.  Just be yourself and ask what you want to ask and say what you want to say.  We’ll wait to hear from you if you feel like letting us know.  You may be too busy celebrating!  Take care.  Helen

Thanks Chloe, I love those words, I might use them myself!!  I know I have to stick to my guns and my mum has been trying to reassure me today…i can still feel it in myself though the anticipation etc yuck!

i didn’t get up till 3pm tonight but then Aunt Flo rocked up so that explain this past week a bit too….last month i ended up fainting and being sick etc…terrible pain etc…i only get like this when i’m down though, normally yeah it’s not nice but it doesn’t affect things but i guess the hormones etc just heighten everything u r already experiencing…but i’m just hoping i don’t feel too bad 2moro i don’t want to have to cancel 2moro coz of illness on top of illness…but then hey i’m worrying too much about that aren’t i! not exactly my fault is it!

but yes not looking forward to it at all, feel like i will cry in there and well that i dont have the fight in me to kinda go through it, i just don’t want to go tbh!  but i know i have to and i have to put on some sort of front to get through it but also get my point across…i am worried though, very worried…....my head has really been swimming this last week…pretty yucky!

positive for the day though…i did get up, i did wash my hair put on a bit of foundation, i made dinner for all of us from scratch including some fresh bread, yum! i did watch a bit of TV and i did express my concerns for 2moro.

it’s getting late now but i’m not gonna even attempt to go to sleep until i feel more tired…

i’m prob not helping mself though…i’m watching the Omen and the trees are knocking against my window…ooohhh errr!!

i will let you know when i have survived 2moro though!

Thanks again Chloe/Helen x

the omen !!! I can’t watch the omen ...and I ran out of the cinema with the exorcist ...its the catholic in me ...i get terrified !!! your soooooooo funny Xx You are amazing hey watching the omen…YOUR A STAR xxx I can’t watch the omen yikes….I am writing to wish you luck for today knowing you don’t need it the chain saw is not going to come out from under the bosses desk and the only thing that could happen is they are going to feel for you and they have to just go with the flow your not well your getting better end of…facts of the matter..XxhugS XX they are just going through the motions ticking the boxes and one day all this should be forgotten and life should be back to normal like it is for the rest of us and just a memory of what occurred Xx hugxxChloe

Good luck gorgeous Xx you can do it Xx Hug Xx

Deliberate living is very cool, but so is deliberate resting.

Chill,
  The Universe
Hope you like this one Xx

Every compliment, criticism, promotion, setback, good vibe, cough or really long line you have to wait in, is a gift that was meticulously designed to make possible your becoming more than who you were, and ultimately, happier than ever before, as we dance into forever.

We’ve only just begun -
  The Universe
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hullo all…well i survived it lol! got 5 hours sleep the night before so that wasn’t too bad! had a major wobble on the way there and was like ‘i don’t want to go in, i’m gonna cry, i can’t do it’ and then mum was like ‘i’m coming in with you’ so we had a bit of a moment in the car!  i think when i’m with mum i get a bit worse sometimes as i sense her panic/fear a bit too!  but i was like ‘no i need to go in by myself, dont wanna look pathetic’ so i went in by myself!  the meeting was ok, pretty laid back which was good but behind it was the message, if you don’t come back soon we really need to look at things, things can’t go on as they are kinda of messages.  then they said do u want to see the director, i think coz i’d mentioned last time i was nervous about seeing him again (the headmaster kinda effect i guess) but i was like oh no i dont want to, i’m unprepared etc and i dont want to look pathetic etc, so i didn’t see him…then on my way out i noticed he was in a room on his own, so i think they’d set that up for me, so now i feel a bit like it’ll look even sillier on my behalf!!

after that i also managed to go to town with mum while she got her hair done and her glasses too, which was a long time out, so was a pretty full day, didn’t really feel too tired though, but today i didn’t wake up till about 3pm!! so it must have taken it out of me!

ok today but still the same thoughts as ever and also now the fear about the return to work again, i feel like i’ve made up mind that i have to go in and try, i can see the benefits from it etc, it’ll just be doing it that will be the problem!  and also being there with people knowing etc, feel like people will be able to tell i’m low in mood/confidence etc and that my paranoia is there a bit still and that i won’t be acting myself etc…

next week tho it’s gotta be ‘find a therapist’ week and kinda get back to doing my CBT exercises and trying to structure days etc, coz i’ve been so worried all of that has kinda stopped recently and coz i’ve been feeling low i’ve sort of been thinking there’s no point to any of it too…

but i guess i should take it as a massive PLUS that i made it in despite the real build-up, fears, worries etc etc etc!!

Hi Sarah, well done you.  It is a MASSIVE PLUS!  I can only imagine how you were feeling before that meeting but you and only you did it.  You can do anything you want to.  I presume that work are happy for you to take the additional month according to your sick note?  If so that means you have a whole month to look after yourself and work on getting the help you feel you want and need to feel better.  Maybe put work out of your mind for that month unless pleasant thoughts about getting back to work enter your thoughts.  The fact you say that you think it would help you to go back to work to get back to normal, does that mean that you do enjoy your work and it’s the normal hestitancy of going back after being away that’s making you fearful or because you think you ought to or have to go back?
My father always says to me that things are never as bad as we fear but never quite as good as we’d love.  They are usually somewhere inbetweeen and that’s usually the case isn’t it.
If you like and can do your job at least there’s the familiarity and you know that you can do it and the people there know you.  I find that my fear of judgment from others is usually much worse than reality and it’s totally about my fear.  People will probably mostly be concerned.  Some may be afraid to ask how you are or talk to you to begin with but that’s their own insecurities of not wanting to upset you or knowing what to say so I never take that personally.  I also find that others are oblivious to my lack of self-esteeem or self-confidence that I feel I wear so openly!  It’s usually ALL ABOUT ME AND MY FEAR!
A month may not seem like a long time but a lot can happen in that time and you may be in a very different place in a month’s time.  You may be excited and ready to go back to work after affording yourself some real time to feel better.
If you’re not then do not feel pressurised to go back to work.  I am sure that between you and your doctor you’ll know if going back to work then is the right thing for you and if it’s not, you take off a wee bit more time.  Time is a great healer and it’s even more powerful if it’s helped along with other ‘healers’ like talking therapy, exercise, a good diet, spending time with people whom you love and make you feel happy and secure and laughter.  We are all very different and different things work for each one of us.  I hope you get lots of whatever works for you in your life Sarah.  Well done again.  Now it’s Sarah time.  Best wishes, Helen

Sarah ha ha thats amazing ha ha Xx you did it feel the fear and do it anyway…susan Jeffers would be sooooo proud of you Xx what ever happens in life there are those moments I have to be brave and feel I am not in complete control and the nicest things happen, then there are other times I feel I am in control and people turn on me and are nasty. In this case there is no reason for anybody to be nasty ...if they were they would be really sad muppets. In my company the bosses were there because they cared. I was an extension of them and part of their organisation. I often think to myself staff are brought in to do what the people who set up the company haven’t got time to do so they pay somebody else to do it. Its like a body without this that the body would not function very well. Believe you me your special your special to them for being part of their body part of their team. You have a doctors note ...doctors do not just dish out doctors notes or think you should go back to work when your not ready. All these people are professionals they care they are doing a job and I see them all as human the director might have children grand children who knows they worry the same as you they don’t sleep at night because they think oh gosh if we don’t get the contract from dubai how do I pay the staff or they are being beaten up here there and everywhere because they need to make progress. I doubt they hate you or say nasty things, the director might have wanted a chat because he cares. We shall never know yet I like to walk in the other persons shoes like the dalai lama would advise, and then I see things from a different perspective and then I think well even if that person hates me I imagine them and think well hey yes I deserve that. I have done that alot lately with my ex husband and it helps me not to be so bitter. With every action there is an equal and opposite reaction and when I act kind confident and loving he is ok with me when I act on the defensive he attacks.
Beautiful beautiful Sarah you have nothing to be guilty of…what have you done wrong ?
What ? Nothing !
You got ill like having the flu, bless XhugX Chloe

I totally agree with Helen. You have a great 4 weeks now to make yourself happy make yourself feel better. You deserve to be happy Sarah X HUGX

thank you for the replies, i will write something more detailed 2moro as i just checked the time, whoops!

have a good Monday everyone x