Oh wow your amazing XXXXX that is fantastic XXXXX have fun Xx

Chloe, I just wanted to say I popped next door to say hello to Steve. I also want to say you have a great knack of making people feel good, I admire people with those skills, Id love to be like that where I can just make people feel special and good about themselves, how do you do it? Did you learn it or have you always had this amazing quality?

im hoping it will all fall into place one day where I can truly be at one with myself and look forward to a new day and be more than happy to be me, warts an all.

answering my own question, I guess Ive got to make myself feel good first before trying to make anyone else feel good, right? or is it possible no matter how I view myself.

thanks Chloe, I am looking forward to it but im yet to enrol before tonight, but I need to get ready first for my counselling at 12.30, its all go today, oh and i have the shopping to do this afternoon. Im glad I have a busy day ahead, I think that will do me good, I do feel better when I have structure to my day.

I wonder how my counselling will go, im not even going to dwell on it until im there, otherwise i may just get into a right tiz waz.

Right I must get off here and try to make myself look human, or I’ll be rushing round at the last minute and stressing.

bye for now all - thanks again for all your replies and lovely thoughts and kind words.

I have been STEALING it all from Marissa !!!! I read her book and adapt it to my own experiences. My other strength is my husband and the other advice is from beautiful beautiful wonderful friends who see the good in everything and always draws on the positive and cheer me up. I guess I listen to them all. They inspire me to inspire you, I pay it forward and attempt to help the next person. When I met one of my friends dad i thought i had met the dalai lama, she must have got her ways from him and her sister is like her also. Her family have been through hell and back and they are so caring kind and true. I have wonderful kind friends who have been kind to me and then i put it all together and pass it on to you, today you are doing the same for othersXx. You have been doing it ever since you came on this forum.  I am glad my soap box helps because you guys really tug at my heart strings. I do cry when i read your posts Xx you wouldn’t realise how much you help me Xx I LOVE you guys i really do. Looking glass effect you are SEEING yourself in others Xx teeee heeee Having you got a song yet what’s yours. Mine today is alright alright everythings going to be alright XXX LOVE YOU LOTS XXXXX thanks for helping me Xx if you could see yourself like others do you’d wish you were as beautiful as YOU (bon jovi)

You are helping me so perhaps and others you don’t need to love yourself as much as you say or need to feel great to do great work Xx your helping all of us Kayfer your strength tenacy wisdom kindness it’s all shining through and looking great / good from where i’m sitting Xx you are an amazng woman. You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for the depression. I think depression is a time to make and mend, like sailors do after a long trip. They make and mend the sails. This is your time Kayfer time for you to really get to know yourself time for you to make and mend. You really are getting the ‘picture’ hope the photograhy turns out well XXX HUGS XXXp.s i hope elaine is ok Xx not heard from her in a while xx

p.s How did the conselling go ? Xxx hope you had a great session Xxx small baby steps and then you’ll look back and smile again one day promise. (remember what Helen said)

ops i meant to say in the above post you are helping me so perhaps you don’t need to love yourself and you are helping others Xx

Hi Chloe

Im back - and the counselling went well thanks - I felt quite comfortable with her, she asked me about my childhood which I told her about but didnt get upset which is unusual for me and Im putting it down to the tablets im on which I have decided after having just spoke to hubby about it that im coming off them gradually of course, Ive never liked taking them and I really think they are making me feel zombie like where im not feeling anything - I honestly dont think they are helping, they just mask the problem and I feel I have all the support I need now from my hubby, counsellor and all my supportive friends on here so thats it, starting from tomorrow I shall start having them alternate days. I need to feel things and if I have to cry then thats ok with me, I have faith that my counsellor is going to really help me and also the Marisa programme, I know I can do this.

Anyway im glad ive got that out of my system, Ive also made another decision and that is im not going to photography afterall, I really feel its not the right time for me and choose to do it in the new year instead as Im positive I shall be able to focus on it and enjoy it more then. I would be foolish to put myself under any undue pressure right now, we’ve lots going on with the house and have just had the go ahead for our kitchen extension in two weeks, so Im really pleased about that, Im sure thats going to make a big difference, at the moment the kitchen and lean to look like a right grothole, im sure that gets me down too.

anyway must rush as need to go food shopping and be back for little one getting home.

its been good chatting to you again and no doubt I shall look in again this evening.
xx

Sounds like you had an ok time Xx I am so happy for you XXXMASSIVE HUGXXXX i am covered in gloss paint really stickie fingers I am painting shelves !!!! and my daughter is helping me say no more just imagine !!!! ha ha talk later gorgeous xx

Elaine XXx hope you are holding up Xx just wanted to send you a massive HUG XXXXX

How are you doing Kayfer? Glad to hear that your counselling went OK? How often are you going to be going to see her? Have you been feeling OK over these last few days?

I accept what you say about the photography course, but please try to keep it in your mind for the new year to keep giving you goals/aims. Sorry, trying not to lecture. It’s funny how men seem to want to do that isn’t it!?!

Any plans for the weekend?

You come across as caring not lecturing Xx Chloe

Hi Brencoot
Yes Chloe’s right you are caring and thank you for asking how I am.  I have been feeling about a 6 out of 10 and tonight not too bad at all really, I started listening to my Marissa hypnosis CD for confidence last night and then again today and its great, I even woke up saying ‘people like me’, I like people, I like myself,’ its amazing how the words seem to be sinking in after only two listens.

I was quite irritable around teatime with little one who was playing up, he has been quite a handful today so I felt in a bad mood but it soon went when we chatted on webcam to hubbys mum, we had to tell her we cant go to Florida now but going next year instead, she expressed disappointment but was fine about.

Im off to bed in a mo and so is hubby if I have anything to do with it, he wonders why he’s so tired in a morning, I keep telling him get an early night lol, I shall drag him up here if I have to.

I am definitely doing the photography in new year, as I am really interested in it, its just not the right time, too much going on with the house and looking after my baby (well toddler now) but I like to think of him as my little baby, oh yeah I started potty training him today, it went really well oh and I baked a cake yesterday which turned out ok, although I cant see it getting eaten, its very rich and full of calories, dont laugh but its a Beetroot Chocolate Cake, it is lovely but im not sure cake making is my thing, or perhaps I should just stick to Victoria Sponge next time, think this was abit ambitious but good for my first attempt.

We may have friends over at the weekend, not sure yet and its going to be nice weather so will defo take son to the park and have a run/kick around, who knows we may even stretch to a bbq.

How are you Brencoot and have you any plans for the weekend, how has your week been?

Night night
love to you all xx

Hello Kayfer Xxx your cake sounds lush Xx umm can smell it from here. You are so go about getting out in the open and getting fresh air you are inspiring me Xx I have been taking my vitamins and seem to have lots more energy seem really full of beans thanks for that this old bird needs to keep up with her daughter. I took my friends children to school this morning and they decided to do a spot of blackberry picking, we had nowhere to put the blackberries so i thought it would be a great idea to put them in my pocket !! they got squeeged and now i have a very sticky pocket. ha ha .The children crack me up they get so excited xx so cute and funny I love them and they make me laugh. How are you today beautiful lady Xx I saw a friend out jogging with her dog she told me she had been on a management training course and this and that and how much it cost and she said it’s all about how you see yourself. Then started to tell me about ..you guessed it, I smiled and said ‘I am enough’ she said oh how do you know ? I told her about marissa’s book and she was amazed and wished she had come across the book sooner. I said it had only been out a while. Yet it was a shame she had spend so much on her course when we are receiving the same quality of knowledge for the price of a book. Anyway she was delighted to hear how far we had got with our ultimate confidence and now she is off to buy a copy. Kayfer, can i just say you are an amazing person to get on and help yourself the way you do. You are so dynamic and switched on and a go getter you really are amazing and also to work yourself through the book and pass your knowledge on to us. You are a star and you are shining on all of us and sharing in your wisdom you beautiful beautiful person thank you Xx Tony robbins said most people start a project and rarely see it to the end and thats why they fail. Your no failure your one of lifes heros. Plus you pushed yourself during all your pain YOU ARE AMAZING Xx you deserved to be praised from here to heaven XxHUG HUG HUG XX