Hello Hayfer, how are you doing? Sorry I couldn’t reply quicker, but been busy. So much has been written since I last managed to get on here, so I couldn’t poaaibly manage to comment on everything, but I think it’s good that you seem to have decided that you want to say what you are annoyed about. It can’t do any harm. It’s good to hear that you seem to be feeling better slowly and that you are able to actually say the stuff that annoys you. I hope it continues!

Hi Brencoot
Im not too bad thank you, and how are you? It does sound like youve been busy which has to be a good thing.

I dont believe it but a friend has just rang from work to say her and another colleague are coming round with a card what everyones signed, now i am worried, oh dear, im not sure why theyre coming over but its very nice of them to do that. 

I just feel uneasy about it, they’ll be here in about 20 mins, wonder what they want to talk about, she said she wanted to chat - im sure it’ll be fine but just before that I rang a woman from the personal development course and going to meet her at hers in the morning with little one, then im going to take him swimming, not done that since mid August so its time we went, his excema is better now so im not so worried about the chlorine affecting his skin, plus where we’re going is supposed to be warmer and better for little ones, I shall have to work out later on how to get there. So all of a sudden its all happening here but im sure I’ll cope

Well I shall have to go and just tidy abit before they get here, try and make myself look abit human and I shall let you all know how it went (probably tonight)

im all nervous now :( feel quite rough today too - im happy theyre coming just wish I wasnt so depressed.

bye for now

Oh gosh how did the visit go !!!! I used to hate people coming around i used to hide. Wow you are good. Oh gosh that’s lovely that they all signed a card. Gosh how lovely is that gosh you must mean soooo much to them to do that Xxx HUGS XXX see i knew you were special Xx

Wow, sounds like you have a busy day, sister!!! I’m thinking of you lots, and hope all goes well with the visit from your work, meeting with your new friend.  Please let me know how they went - lots of positive energy to you!!!

Sure,I’ll send some cheese cake over to you-sharing is caring   I love cooking at the moment, and I made a chicken curry last night, and it was really yummy!

Hey, well done on letting your husband know that you need a day off - he sounds like a loving man who cares so much about you.  LOVE is amazing, Kayfer. 

Exercise is good release for me at the moment, and I’ve lost some weight, too.  Very happy about that   Sister, you have a lot on your plate, so don’t push yourself too hard.  Wii exercise sounds like fun - go for it!

Love you lots!

Hello Kayfer? How did it go with your colleagues yesterday? OK I hope. I think it’s nice that they wanted to bring round a card, so it’s gotta be a positive thing.

Hope you are well.

Hi my friends

Im feeling happy right now and cant stop smiling, Ive had a lovely day and feel so much better for being with people and its such a relief to feel that.

First of, the visit from work was fine, they brought a beautiful bouquet of roses and lillies, and a sorry to hear your feeling poorly card so its no secret anymore, I was told a social worker is also off with depression, not suprising really. Anyway they stayed for half hour which was fine and just asked how I was feeling. I shall have to send a thank you card to work, people can be so lovely, its ironic really as work seemed to be the trigger, I did feel uneasy Chloe - like you say its just so easy to want to hide away and thats just what ive been doing until today and I feel quite pleased I did get out, my little one loved it too.

I went to my new friends for an hour this morning, I walked there with little one in his pushchair, been lovely and sunny here today so that was nice, it was a good 15 min walk there, anyway my new friend is really nice and I felt quite at ease chatting to her, she told me she had bad pnd 10 years ago and she couldnt do anything at all and she pulled through but still suffers from anxiety - anyway while I was there she said why not go to a drop in centre for mums and toddlers (she happens to work there) I ummed and arrred abit as was meant to be going swimming but changed my mind and thought why not, she sold the idea to me and so my little boy and I went this afternoon and it was great, not too many people so that was a relief for the first time and alot of them were outside as it was so nice, so all in all its been a good day, certainly beats sat in all day looking at my four walls dwelling on this depression.

Last night I felt so low it was awful, you know just felt withdrawn and totally flat again and felt really guilty towards hubby for being so miserable, (we virtually sat in silence at dinnertime).

But thankfully Im feeling quite normal today and smiling - so next week I shall be doing the same again on Thursday, ooh its exciting, I really feel that im getting better, well its a good sign for me to have the courage to go out and meet people.

Thanks for all your messages - it was lovely to come on here and see you all asking about me, you are all so great on here.

Thats it now Im going to go from strength to strength, Im on my way up, hurrah - and ive not had a tablet today, I wont rush coming off them all together though and I arent going to put pressure on myself to get back to work too soon either, Im going to do this properly and really makesure im ready to go back and Im feeling I can take on the world.

oh its great to feel happy for once and my little ones asleep so ive some time to myself, im even thinking of arranging a couple of hours out for hubby and me either this weekend or next, might surprise him, I know someone who would babysit if she’s not doing anything, so wish me luck on that, it’d be lovely just to get out the two of us alone, wish we could go tonight, im just in the mood for getting abit glammed up, styling my hair, putting make up on - any babysitters out there at short notice, mind you think hubby has the extension plans to do and pack for his work trip to Italy so think next weekend would be best, more notice for the sitter too.

Big hug to you all - im still smiling - may it last till I go to bed at least.

I always say to friends you included we are going to live till we are 100 so there is no rush, what’s the rush. WOW you sound so amazing you really are so strong and tenacious and amazing and I love you very Much XXXXX HUGS XXXX little one homework then bath then bed Xx So i have no time to chat so i am giving you a GREAT BIG HUG XXXXX you wonderful wonderful woman XXXX

Dear Kayfer and everyone, I hope that this makes you giggle as much as I did.
Click here
Have a good day everyone.  Helen

Hello Kayfer, how are you? You certainly seem to be good at the moment, which is nice to see. Any more thoughts about that night out? I think it’s a great idea. I haven’t got much time today, so have a nice weekend.

Its very hard to understand what I am feeling. I certainly don’t feel in any position to give advice and support, so is this forum right for me.

Hi Elaine

Good to hear from you, how are you feeling? Its ok you dont have to offer advice just chat, have a moan, whatever you want really. I dont understand how I feel either so I know what you mean and i arent great at giving advice either, so I dont tend to give it, I just lend a listening ear mostly.

Hope to chat to you soon, take care x

oh Brencoot, hi how are you? I mentioned the night out to hubby and he’s keen to go out so we’re going to check out a new pub this weekend see if we fancy there or not next weekend.

im sorry to cut it short but im tired so off to bed now to listen to my cd. night night all.

Thanks Hope for your message thats really helpful, I shall be glad to get our printer working, I could do with printing that off. The cheesecake sounds lovely, ive not baked anything since but when I do it’ll be a simple victoria sponge, that cake I did last week was quite costly and there was too much of it, so I felt really greedy after eating it.

Hello beautiful Kayfer Xx hope your having a wonderful weekend XXXHUGS XXXX love you lots Xx

Hello Elaine Xx your beautiful the way you are we love to hear from you and hope our chats make you smile Xx they make me smile Xx we all tell our story and get it out on here. When I hear somebody elses story it helps me realise I am not the only one and it lessens the sadness. We are all hear to listen to you Xx I hope listening to our stories lessen your pain. You have had a terrible time. We are testiments to the fact it does get better and we can support eachother. We aren’t going anywhere Xxx Sending you a great big HUG XXXX This forum is right for you, stay with us Xx please pop in from time to time and say hello it’s lovely to hear from you. I was watching the jeremy kyle show and i thought about you,me, hope and kayfer. A girl had been abandoned by her mother, oh it was sad. Jeremy Kyle gave the mother a really good dressing down.
Strangely, I did begin to pity the mother and it helped me, mad as it seems, the mother was inept and a drug user. I began to pity her that she didn’t have those beautiful mothering emotions that I have for my daughter. It must be horrible to be so hard and mean like this mother was, she was completely selfish and rotten. I was reading my depression book and it was encouraging suffers to go to the qualified professionals who specialise in victims of abuse. I thought of you because i know that when i let go of all the pain it helped me heal. You are going to heal XXx When I am old and cutting hedges I want to remember all the good times xxx time does heal xxxBIG HUG XXXwe are all growing to love you elaine stay with us xxx

My laughing baby won’t load at the moment Xx thank you Helen what a wonderful wondeful fun way to make me laugh ha ha Xx thanks for that xx

my husband doesn’t think that it is a good idea this forum. He isn’t creating a fuss but just thinks that it is all about dwelling on the bad stuff. Unfortunatley he doesnt understand the comfort in knowing that other people feel exactly the same as me.
My sister has accused me of needing virtual friends because I don’t have any real ones. Much of that is true but her continuous comments and criticism of me is a punch in the stomach. She is successful, glamorous and popular. I can’t say anything to mummy or daddy without everyone thinking I am just jealous. Maybe I am jealous. But I am also hurt by the constant ridicule.

Visited some friends last night who have just had a new baby and she is beautiful. Don’t worry though I stand by my decision never to have children. Drank too much as usual but that is my escape from the world, more often than is what probably acceptable but I have given up worrying about the amount of drink I take

I have had a annual PDR in work this week. That was more criticism about my changable personality and inconsistency.

Does anyone else would a punch at me